<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>H.O.L.Y. (High On Loving You) by SMITSJUSTAJAYREALLY</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28591227">H.O.L.Y. (High On Loving You)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/SMITSJUSTAJAYREALLY/pseuds/SMITSJUSTAJAYREALLY'>SMITSJUSTAJAYREALLY</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>HOLY Series [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Good Omens (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Human, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blow Jobs, Car Accidents, Character Death, Domestic Violence, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fat Shaming, Frottage, Guns, Homophobia, Human AU, Human Aziraphale (Good Omens), Human Crowley (Good Omens), Hurt Aziraphale (Good Omens), Hurt/Comfort, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), M/M, Manipulation, Minor Injuries, Past Sexual Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Crowley (Good Omens), Serious Injuries, Slut Shaming, Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 06:35:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>30,920</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28591227</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/SMITSJUSTAJAYREALLY/pseuds/SMITSJUSTAJAYREALLY</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Aziraphale Fell is escaping his abusive partner Gabriel. He has no friends and family to turn to as his parents died 11 years ago which led to him moving to the US from London. And the past 10 years were ruled by Gabriel who cut him off from the rest of the world. While on the run he misses his bus and ends up in the middle of nowhere USA. A kind person talks their cousin Crowley into offering Aziraphale shelter in a spare home he has for rent. Aziraphale learns that even if you’ve lost one family you can always find another.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Anathema Device/Newton Pulsifer, Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Gabriel (Good Omens)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>HOLY Series [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2095002</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>69</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Break Down Here</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>The title of this fic is the title of an FGL song. The title of the chapter is is the title of a Julie Roberts song. Hope you enjoy ❤️</p><p> </p><p>  <strong>You may have come across this fic before, not to worry I am the original creator, just deleted my old AO3 and created this new one. Slowly moving everything over here.</strong></p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rain pats against the window of the Greyhound, as Aziraphale Fell contemplates the last 10 years of his life. His regular clothing is tucked away in two bags, currently nestled in the overhead compartment, and he has a small fortune split between cash and a debit card in his pocket.</p><p>Until he gets to where he’s going, he’ll remain in disguise. His normal cream and pastel palette exchanged for dark blue jeans, a dark hoodie and a ball cap. The latter two items are covering his bruised face and white, blond curls. The hair is a dangerous give away for him, making him too recognizable. And if any of Gabriel's associates should spot him.....</p><p><em>I'm safe now.</em> He reminds himself, clasping his hands together to control the shaking. There’s now five states between him and Miami, five states between himself and pain. Aziraphale has been planning this for a long time, but he’d had to wait until the right moment. It was difficult to just leave, especially when the police wouldn't do anything to protect him. They had treated his cries for help as a joke, told him to "man up" without using those exact words. Then Gabriel would arrive, wherever he was hiding, and made sure he came home. There were threats and fear, and no one willing to help. He’d had to prepare to get really far, really fast.</p><p>Two days ago, Wednesday, Gabriel said he would be leaving for a week on an extended business trip. Aziraphale knew it was a lie, that no business trip would run through Labor Day weekend.</p><p>Gabriel was tall, handsome, with violet eyes, dark hair, strong jawline and muscular build. Men and women alike threw themselves at him. Aziraphale knows his abuser has been cheating on him for years, and Aziraphale really doesn’t mind. He hates Gabriel, is sickened by his touch, but has never been permitted to say no to his controlling partner without consequence. If the asshole has other lovers he is less likely to want anything from Aziraphale.</p><p>There had been no provocation for the blond's current bruising, Gabriel just wanted to make sure Aziraphale knew his place before he left for the week. Once the monster was gone Aziraphale waited a half hour then walked an hour to the nearest bus station. It’s now Friday, and Aziraphale is over a thousand miles away. It’ll be days yet before Gabriel will notice him missing.</p><p>As the bus begins to cross a large silver bridge, he looks out across the Ohio River, and then to the sign reading <strong>Welcome to Ohio, So Much to Discover</strong>. It’s nothing extravagant, plain really, just like him. Gabriel has spent the last decade attempting to make Aziraphale more than average.</p><p><em>"You're too fat, too stupid, you have potential, but you'll never be attractive if you don't dress better and work out. You're lucky I want you, no one else will."</em> That’s been Gabriel's unchanging mantra for Aziraphale and the blond gets to hear it every single day.</p><p>Trying to get the thought of his now ex out of his head, he turns his attention back out the window. Field after field of farmland passes by on the interstate. On both sides are the foothills of the Appalachian Mountains. Much too small to be considered actual mountains but they look quite impressive if you're accustomed to only flatland.</p><p><em>This place is beautiful.</em> Aziraphale thinks, as the rain stops and the late morning sun escapes from behind it’s shield of clouds.</p><p>Forty-five minutes after passing the state line, the bus takes an exit towards it’s next bus stop. Aziraphale is ready to stretch his legs and get a bite to eat. The bus hasn't stopped since the previous evening and it's now 12:00pm.</p><p>The Greyhound parks in the lot of a gas station.<strong> Mike's One Stop</strong> is painted in large red letters against the white background of the large sign.</p><p>"You all have an hour before the next bus arrives." The driver announces as they exit. Aziraphale retrieves his two duffel bags and steps out.</p><p>He’s learned over the years to clinically observe his surroundings as an attempt to thwart unwanted dangers. Across the street is a veterinary clinic, to the right of it is the overpass from which the bus just arrived, and a sign reading,<strong> Welcome to the City of Jackson, Home of the Apple Festival</strong>. To the left is a bank and a line of restaurants, but the two-lane highway before him is so congested, he decides not to navigate that while carrying his luggage.</p><p>To his immediate left is a small side road which leads behind the gas station. Aziraphale walks around the building and sees that this road passes an Italian restaurant before opening up into a movie theatre parking lot.</p><p>He walks the several feet to the restaurant's door. Pushing past the glass doors, he is greeted to cool air-conditioning. The sensation a pleasant contrast to the late summer air that has been roasting him through the fabric of his dark hoodie.</p><p>The interior of the restaurant is clean, with shiny hardwood floors, a spacious dining area and along the back wall is a long bar. A petite, energetic blonde greets him and leads him to a booth beside a window, looking out onto the theatre parking lot. She lays out his silverware and napkins with a smile before telling him. “Your server will be with you shortly.”</p><p>Within moments of her departure, he is greeted by a plump woman with warm brown eyes and chestnut hair. He places his food and drink order, and the woman smiles brightly before asking "Where are you from?"</p><p>He tenses, fear shooting like ice through his veins,</p><p>"Excuse me?" his voice wavers. Certainly Gabriel doesn't have people <em>here.</em></p><p>The server shifts, looking apologetic, "Sorry, I didn't mean to be rude. I just noticed your accent."</p><p>"Oh that" He relaxes, "I was born in London, moved to the States when I was eighteen. I've been here ever since."</p><p>Her face brightens, "Well you sound very sophisticated, I'd best get your order in."</p><p>After the server leaves, Aziraphale stares out the window. His brain hasn’t slowed since he left Miami, constantly on alert.<em> How far should I go? Is this far enough?</em> He is tired from being on the road non-stop for two days. Exhausted from constant fear. He wants a shower and a bed, but he also doesn’t want to be taken back to that Hell disguised as Heaven. He sends up a silent prayer, "God, please, you know I need you, lead me in the direction I need to go."</p><p>Fifteen minutes later, the server returns with his food. They chat a bit, and she tells him about the local festival the small city will have in two weeks. He enjoys listening to her talk, enjoys how pleased she is with life.</p><p><em>This is the life I want.</em> He thinks as he listens. <em>I want to be this happy.</em></p><p>Meal complete and good conversation had, he leaves the woman a sizeable tip and rings out his meal. As he turns from the register he receives an alert on his cellphone that the next bus is departing.</p><p><em>It's not supposed to leave for 10 more minutes! </em>Panicking, he breaks into a run. The road inclines towards the gas station and with the weight of the two bags slowing him down, he does not make it in time.</p><p>Out of breath, he checks the Greyhound app. The next bus won't be through for another week. "Okay, God, what's my next move?"</p><p>"You need help?" Aziraphale startles at the voice. Turning, he sees a tall person, maybe 5'9", 30's, blue eyes, round face, sturdy build. They are wearing a grey law enforcement uniform, and a work issued ball cap over short, reddish, brown hair.</p><p>"I'm not sure." Aziraphale knows he prayed for a sign, but the uniform and his past experience with police makes him withdraw. "I seem to have missed my bus." He stares at the ground.</p><p>"Where are you going?" Their voice is calm, kind.</p><p>"M'not sure." He mumbles.</p><p>"Who are you running from?" It's a whisper, gentle, they don't want to spook him. When he looks up, they are tilting their head, evidently looking at the yellow bruising along his jawline. The officer’s eyes convey empathy and sadness. They wait a beat and continues. "I'm sorry, you don't have to tell me. But will you please let me help?"</p><p>Aziraphale shakes his head, on the verge of tears. "I don't need police involved. I don't want to press charges, and I don't want him to know where I am."</p><p>"Well lucky for you, I'm not police." They state matter-of-factly. "I'm a Corrections Officer, my badge doesn't mean shit on the street. Name’s Sal Jennings."</p><p>Sal sighs when he doesn’t answer and continues. "Listen, I felt like God wanted me to talk to you, but maybe I was wrong. I'm sorry to have bothered you."</p><p>Aziraphale watches as they start to walk away. "Wait." They turn back to face him. He reaches his hand out to shake Sal's "Aziraphale Fell."</p><p>"Aziraphale? Like the angel?" Sal smiles. "You don't hear that one much. It's from one of the excluded tomes, isn’t it? They call them the Lost Books."</p><p>"It is." He smiles, pleased. "Most people don't know that."</p><p>
  <em>I like them.</em>
</p><p>"Well, I ain't most people." They laugh. "Listen, I just moved into a house in town. The mobile home I used to live in is up for rent. Fully furnished. You're welcome to stay there until you figure out what you're doing."</p><p>They gesture for him to follow and the two of them walk to Sal’s car. It’s a small silver sedan, taken well care of, but obviously not new. "You don't even have to pay until you get on your feet. My cousin and I will even help with yard maintenance, and transportation if you need."</p><p>"Not to be rude." Aziraphale asks as he settles into their passenger seat, "But why do you even care?"</p><p>Sal buckles their seat belt and starts the car. "Because I was where you are 12 years ago, only I was lucky enough to have family get me out and keep me safe." They pause before backing the car out. Taking that moment to look him in the eyes. "And I'm guessing you don't have that."</p><p>"You're right. I don't." His voice broke.</p><p>"Then let my family be your family. Let me and the cousin that helped me, help you."</p><p>"Thank you." Aziraphale nods. He’s just too tired to run anymore.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Sal is a talker. Within ten minutes they have told Aziraphale their entire life story. Sal talked about their ex Marcus, how he had moved them to Cleveland as a way to separate them from their family. How they had escaped one morning after Marcus went to work and their cousin Crowley (first name Anthony, but everyone calls him by his last name) drove up and brought them home. Sal told him of their family on their mother’s side, since that’s who they grew up with and knew best. Their grandma had 13 children, 11 of which were girls. That's why none of their cousins have their last name. Only six of the cousins still live in Oak Hill (that's where they live). Sal Jennings is quite the open book.</p><p>Aziraphale doesn’t mind. Sal isn’t prying into his business, and the conversation is taking his mind off of things he doesn’t wish to think about.</p><p>"I do have to make a phone call, hang on" They say at the end of their long spiel. "Siri, call Crowley."</p><p>Aziraphale hears the chime of the digital assistant through the car’s speakers, followed by the synthetic response. “Calling Crowley.”</p><p>"Hey?" The answering voice catches Aziraphale's attention. It's throaty and deep.</p><p>"Hey, bringing someone over who wants to rent the trailer."</p><p>"Who is it?"</p><p>"A very nice man from out of town."</p><p>"I don't know, Sal. I don't have the money to fix the place up if it gets damaged." He sounds uncomfortable.</p><p>"He won't do any damage. He's not the sort. Plus, he needs help, just gettin' out of a 'Marcus' situation. Please, Crowley."</p><p>There's a brief pause on the other end, as if the man is thinking it over. "Yeah, alright."</p><p>Sal does a happy wiggle and squeal. "Thank you! Love you! You're the best!"</p><p>"Yeah, I know." Crowley chuckles. "I'll be home in 20."</p><p>“We should be there in 15. See ya soon."</p><p>When the call ends, Aziraphale speaks for the first time since they got in the car. "I thought you said it was <em>your</em> mobile home?'</p><p>"I said the trailer was for rent." Their eyes glint mischeviously. "Besides it was mine while I rented it, but then I moved out." Their voice goes up in pitch as they end the sentence. “It's actually on Crowley's property. He lived in the trailer while grandma and grandpa were alive. When they passed, he inherited the main house."</p><p>Aziraphale fidgets, "And you really don't think I'm imposing, you dropping me on him like this?"</p><p>"Nah, he needs the extra money. He's just worried cause he doesn't know you. When he meets you, I'm sure he'll be on board." They’re smiling, he trusts their smile. Aziraphale relaxes back into the seat as they pass a sign welcoming them to Oak Hill.</p><p>The town is very small. Sal tells him it is actually considered a village, because it only contains a population of about 2500. They pass two stoplights, a grocery, a pharmacy, a family-owned restaurant, two fast food places, four gas stations, and a post office.</p><p>Staying southbound on St Rt 93 they travel the length of the town until they exit the limits on the other side. They travel this way for 3 more miles, then turn down a back road. Following the length of this road for another mile, Sal turns the car into a driveway, part of it breaking off to the left between pine trees. Through the pines Aziraphale can see the single wide. Ahead, in the direction they continue, he sees a small white, wooden house. It has a red roof and a long white sheltered deck, the whole structure wrapping around the front of the house. On the far left of the deck is a porch swing, as you look to the right of it is the door. Further down the deck is a large window, in front of which are two rocking chairs with a small table between them. Where the deck ends, is a large garage.</p><p>They park the car and begin walking towards the house. “Crowley should be here soon.”</p><p>Sal gestures for Aziraphale to follow her to the rocking chairs. He removes the hoodie, as the September heat is getting to be too much. He feels safe all the way out here, as if it is finally ok to peel back his disguise. They are sitting and chatting when the large Dodge pickup pulls up the driveway.</p><p>The door opens and Aziraphale’s breath catches. Out of the cab steps a tall man, late 20’s to early 30’s, long legs, lean muscular arms and torso, fair, freckled skin, and shoulder length flaming red hair. Sunglasses cover his eyes, a small tattoo is on his right temple, his hands and wrists are covered in paint and grease. He’s dressed in blue trousers, and a grey shirt. The name Anthony is embroidered on the shirt, and <strong>Beez Mechanical</strong> written above the name.</p><p>“Sup Sal” He calls cheerfully.</p><p>“Hey Crowley, let me introduce you to Aziraphale Fell” They move aside allowing Aziraphale to step from behind them.</p><p>Crowley pauses upon seeing the tired man in the ball cap. He looks gob-smacked for a beat, then, recovering, offers his hand. “Anthony Crowley, but a lot of people just call me Crowley.”</p><p>“Which would you prefer I call you?” Aziraphale asks meekly shaking the red-head’s hand.</p><p>“Whatever you like.” Crowley says softly, then looks stricken by his own words. Releasing Aziraphale’s hand he adds. “I mean whichever you’re comfortable with.”</p><p>Aziraphale nods, backing away and returning his eyes to the ground. Clasping his hands in front of himself he doesn’t notice Crowley’s blunder.</p><p>Sal, however, does. “I gotta get home Crowley. Why don’t you show Aziraphale around the grounds and his new home?”</p><p>“Uh, sure thing.” Crowley’s shaded gaze is locked on the man in front of him.</p><p>As Sal walks past him they whisper. “Tone it down Romeo. He’s getting away from a bad situation, don’t scare him. He needs to feel safe.”</p><p>Crowley shakes his head and whispers back, “Yeah. Sorry. You’re right.”</p><p>Sal squeezes his arm and walks to their car.</p><p>As she drives away, Crowley clears his throat. “So, would you like the grand tour?” He asks flourishing his hands in an exaggerated manner.</p><p>“Yes, I’d like that.” Aziraphale giggles nervously, then looks up at Crowley and sweetly smiles.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Monsters</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Crowley helps Aziraphale settle in. Aziraphale has a serious flashback. This chapter starts sweet but has a dark turn as Aziraphale deals with the monster in his own head.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The title of this chapter is the title of an Eric Church song.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em>He’s beautiful.</em> Crowley’s heart flutters at Aziraphale’s shy smile and musical laugh. He, honest to God, has never heard anything more beautiful than that sweet, soft sound.</p><p>“Could I put my things somewhere first?” Aziraphale asks, gesturing to the duffel bags he’d left lying on the porch. Crowley watches as the other man shifts nervously, hands never still.</p><p>“Uh, Yeah, sorry.” Crowley puts his own hands in his pockets, slouching his shoulders to seem smaller. “I’ll run in the house and get the keys.”</p><p>“Yes please. I think I’d feel much better if I could settle my things.” Aziraphale says, running his hand over the back of his neck.</p><p>Crowley nods before hurrying to the house and through the front door. Once in the foyer he moves swiftly past the antique hutch and takes a left into the bedroom. Reaching into a glass bowl on his dresser, he grabs the set of three keys and rushes back outside.</p><p>Aziraphale is standing where Crowley left him, staring off into the tree line. When the shorter man hears the screen-door shut he turns around and starts towards his luggage.</p><p>“Allow me.” Crowley starts in the direction of the bags, then stops to add. “If that’s alright?”</p><p>“Yes, thank you.” Aziraphale looks pleased and gives Crowley another smile. This one dwarfs the previous one, spreading across his round face and causing his blue eyes to sparkle.</p><p><em>God his eyes are gorgeous.</em> Crowley walks to the bags and hoists the straps over his shoulders. “Follow me then.”</p><p>They walk together across the acre of land between the homes. Large pines line the back of the property and the long driveway, with a huge expanse of yard before the tree line in the back. Close to two sprawling acres and a pond set behind Crowley’s house.</p><p>The siding of the single wide is a slate blue, with a silver tin roof. In order to get onto the wooden porch, the pair have to climb three steps due to the elevation of the home’s front door. The porch itself is painted blue and contains two lawn chairs and a small table. This porch doesn’t have a roof like Crowley’s deck and the newfound landlord wonders if he should offer to build one.</p><p>Aziraphale moves to give Crowley room as the red-head unlocks the door. Stepping inside he holds the door for Aziraphale, watching as the blond takes in his new surroundings. Crowley is suddenly aware of how old and small the place is. Sure, it has been taken well care of, but would it be okay for Aziraphale?</p><p>Even dressed in a plain white T-shirt and jeans it’s clear the blond is of a higher class than Crowley’s lot. You don’t find people like him around here. Hell, Crowley isn’t sure he could find anyone like this soft, beautiful angel of a man again anywhere.</p><p>“So, Uh, where d’ya want me to put these?” Crowley shrugs his shoulders in an exaggerated manner, causing the bags to bounce.</p><p>Aziraphale laughs again, his eyes shimmering same as before. <em>Angel name, angel’s eyes.</em> Crowley can’t help but stare.</p><p>“Oh, anywhere is fine dear.” Aziraphale turns to face Crowley, flicking his hand limply. “Where is the shower? I’ve been on a bus for two days. I’d very much like to freshen up before I do anything else.”</p><p><em>Dear?</em> “Of course, sorry. The master bathroom and bedroom are through the kitchen there.” Crowley points off to the left, where the living room opens into a kitchen, on the other side of which is a door. “Do you need anything? I can run to my house and grab soap and shampoo. Just bought a package of new wash rags and towels too. If you need?”</p><p>“I have my own body wash and shampoo, but I could use a towel and washcloth.” Aziraphale moves one of his bags to the sofa across the room from the door and rummages through it as he speaks.</p><p>“Gotcha, be right back.” Crowley hangs the home’s keys on the hook by the door and gestures towards them. “Your keys are here, those are the only copies.”</p><p>Aziraphale looks up and smiles again. “Thank you.”</p><p>Crowley smiles back before rushing out the door. He speed-walks across the yard. Once inside his house he walks straight through the foyer and makes a left down the hallway. He heads into his bathroom and grabs a stack of brand new towels and wash rags, still in the store packaging. While in the supply closet he also grabs a new toothbrush, toothpaste and package of toilet paper. Crowley always buys in bulk, because, in his opinion, it’s always good to be prepared.</p><p>Crowley has never been unfriendly, but he rarely goes out of his way for anyone who isn’t family or a long-time friend. So, the fact he is currently hightailing it back to the trailer with an armload of supplies he’s purchased with his own hard earned cash, and with the intent of giving it all to a complete stranger, is extremely out of character. Having a renter was one thing, this feeling of needing to provide for him is something altogether different.</p><p>Crowley can’t explain what came over him when he saw Aziraphale. At first, he was intrigued. Even tired and broken, Aziraphale is stunning. Then he spoke and it was as if Crowley’s world froze. In that moment, his heart stuttered and suddenly nothing else mattered except this angelic man. That’s the only word that can come close to describing Aziraphale angel.</p><p>Arriving back at the trailer Crowley knocks, and Aziraphale opens the door. He sees the load of items in Crowley’s arms and chuckles. “What’s all this?”</p><p>“Well, I didn’t know for sure what all you had, so I brought you the essentials.” Crowley sets his bounty by the door. “If you need anything else, I can run you to Jackson later. They have a Walmart, and I can help you pay if you don’t have the money.”</p><p>“Thank you dear boy.” Aziraphale looks so very tired and Crowley feels a tug in his heart. “I’m much too tired for all that today. Let me clean up, you can show me the grounds, and then I’d very much like to rest. If that’s okay?”</p><p>“Yeah, yeah that’s perfect. I need to shower too.” Crowley holds up his oil and paint stained arms. “Maybe tomorrow? Or you can make me a list and I can go to the store for you while you rest?”</p><p>“You would do that?” Aziraphale’s eyes go wide and shimmery. He stares at Crowley in awe, his sky-blue gaze open and tender.</p><p>
  <em>Shit I’m going to die if he keeps looking at me like that.</em>
</p><p>“Of course. Anything you need. Just ask.” Crowley hopes he doesn’t sound too desperate.</p><p>“Well, then. Let me freshen up, and I’ll let you know what I decide.” Aziraphale says softly. Kill him or not, Crowley loves the way the other man is looking at him.</p><p>“I’ll leave you to it then.” Crowley says, fighting the urge to smile like an idiot. “Meet ya on my porch in an hour?”</p><p>“That sounds wonderful.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>After his shower, Aziraphale does a walk-through of his new home. The home itself is 16x72 feet, not huge, but large for a single wide. The walls are white, with stucco ceilings. From the front entryway, if your back is to the door, there is a hallway to the right, down which are three doors. The first and last doors in this hallway lead to empty rooms with no furnishings. The first empty room only contains a small window on the back wall and a closet inside the right wall. The hallway dead-ends into the last room, which contains a large bay window and a closet along the wall to the left. Between these two rooms is a small restroom with a half bath, sink and toilet.</p><p>Returning to the living room, there is a window on the back wall opposite that door. A brown couch sets beneath the window. Mounted on the wall running parallel to the hallway entrance is a large flatscreen TV. Opposite the couch, directly beside the front door, is another large window. The bottom of which is level with the deck outside, next to this window is a plush brown recliner.</p><p>As mentioned before, to the left the living room opens into the kitchen. There is a wooden table with four wooden chairs, and a full stove and oven, above which are wooden cupboards. Above the sink is a window that looks out into the countryside. The refrigerator is at the kitchens edge, next to the door of the master bedroom. To the right, before exiting the kitchen to the bedroom, is the entrance to the laundry room with a functioning washer and dryer.</p><p>The master bedroom is furnished, with a queen size bed, fresh sheets and what appears to be a hand-made quilt. There is a dresser and another large window on the wall opposite the foot of the bed. On the wall across from the rooms entrance is a large walk-in closet, and the entrance to the master bathroom. This bathroom has a large garden tub, marble sink with a vanity and the toilet.</p><p>Aziraphale admires the bathtub. He so enjoys relaxing in hot water, with oils and bubbles. As he looks it over, he wonders at its size It’s so very large He thinks. Why, two could fit in it very comfortably. His mind wanders to a lean, muscular red-head, before he shakes the thought away.</p><p>
  <em>Don’t be ridiculous, you’re just getting out of a relationship.</em>
</p><p>But does that really matter? He hasn’t loved Gabriel for years. It isn’t as if he needs to sensibly heal from a heartbreak or is on some emotional rebound. Aziraphale has been over loving Gabriel for the better portion of the past seven years. He remained out of fear, not love.</p><p><em>Nonetheless, someone as handsome as Crowley would never want you.</em> Aziraphale scolds himself. The echo of Gabriel, sneaking to the forefront of his mind. <em>Worthless cow.</em></p><p>Aziraphale rubs his temples, closing his eyes. Suddenly he’s back in the high-rise apartment. He can feel the phantom punch to the face, that had knocked him to the ground the morning he’d left. <em>Useless, stupid, bitch.</em></p><p>Tears burning his eyes and Gabriel towering over him as Aziraphale lies on the floor, struggling to breathe.</p><p><em>Do you have any idea how lucky you are I put up with your shit? No one else would, you have absolutely nothing to offer. Fat, lazy, fucking whore. </em>Each word of the last sentence accentuated by a foot making contact with his ribs.</p><p>As Aziraphale writhes, Gabriel reaches down, yanking his hair so hard Aziraphale can feel blood forming on his scalp.</p><p><em>Look me in the eye when I talk to you. I would say you’re only worth a good fuck, fat slut that you are, but I can’t even give you that. I get more pleasure from my own fucking fist.</em> Gabriel shoves Aziraphale’s face into the floor.</p><p><em>Please, please stop. I’m sorry, I won’t do it again. I promise.</em> Aziraphale pleads, voice muffled by the expensive savonnerie. He isn’t sure what he’s done this time but that doesn’t matter. If Gabriel is angry, there is nothing Aziraphale can do to stop him.</p><p><em>Shut the fuck up and lay still. </em>Gabriel snarls near his ear and Aziraphale’s body tenses at the sound of the other man’s zipper</p><p>Aziraphale’s physical body slumps to the bedroom floor of a trailer in small town Ohio, hugging his knees to his chest as he begins to shake and sob. Gabriel is over a thousand miles away, but that doesn’t matter, not to Aziraphale, who sits there and waits for the next blow.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Angel</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>We learn a little of Aziraphale's and Crowley’s histories.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Title of this chapter is an FGL song. Enjoy! It has been brought to my attention to add this. In the US biscuits are bread, not sweets! Lol. This will save a lot of confusion for my European friends as they read this chapter.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After his shower, Crowley changes into black jeans, a black A-Shirt, and his boots. He leaves his sunglasses off, wanting to see Aziraphale's reaction to his eyes. Crowley is aware most people find him attractive, but he’s never put too much stock in it. He has no interest in women, and most men that come onto him are only after one thing. Not that Crowley is disinterested in sex, but he’d found at a young age, he has no drive unless he feels a strong emotional connection, and those men were not after that connection. They find his eyes exotic and his body arousing, which aren't necessarily good things when you're looking to be loved.</p><p>He is hoping to attract Aziraphale. There is something about the man that draws Crowley. Aziraphale exudes a gentleness. His eyes are bright and intelligent, and Crowley can tell he is kind. Traits that Crowley knows are hard to find and absolutely irresistible. A man like Aziraphale would never use Crowley. The angel is everything Crowley has ever wanted.</p><p>Crowley waits on the porch swing. It’s been an hour and forty-five minutes since he and Aziraphale had parted ways and Crowley wonders if he should go check on him. <em>Aziraphale had been exhausted, maybe he's fallen asleep. I'll wait a bit more then go knock.</em></p><p>Swinging lazily, Crowley watches the hummingbirds buzz around the feeder he has hanging on the porch. The liquid inside is getting low, so he figures he could kill some time by refilling it. Standing, he wanders into the house, through the living room and into the kitchen. Reaching under the sink, he gets a pitcher and fills it, one cup sugar, four cups water, stirring until fully dissolved. He carries his bounty outside, flipping the feeder over and pouring the concoction into the cylinder.</p><p>"Give me a minute guys, I won't take long." Crowley laughs as he is bombarded by the tiny creatures. Flashes of red, green and black, fearlessly whizzing by his face and around his body. He’s had the feeder on the porch for five years and every summer the birds come back. They're almost domesticated at this point.</p><p>Finishing the task, he steps back and watches the birds dip their pin-prick beaks into the cylinder.</p><p><em>Aziraphale might enjoy watching them.</em> He thinks and imagines sitting side by side on the porch swing, with the angel. Aziraphale's delighted laugh at watching the tiny birds swoop at one another. How his eyes would sparkle, the corners crinkling from the happiness spread across his face. Crowley would reach over and take one of Aziraphale's lovely hands in his own.</p><p><em>Maybe someday, if I'm lucky.</em> He sighs, a warm feeling settling in his chest.</p><p>After another twenty minutes, Crowley concludes that Aziraphale has probably fallen asleep. He decides the best course of action will be to write a note, walk to the trailer and lightly knock. If Aziraphale doesn't answer, Crowley will leave the note in the door and allow his new tenant to rest.</p><p>Another ten minutes later, Crowley is disappointed when his first knock receives no answer. He knocks, lightly a second time and waits. When he hears no movement, he places the note in the door, and returns home.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Three and a half hours later Aziraphale wakes, curled in on himself at the foot of the bed. He stares around groggily, trying to collect his thoughts. He has a moment of not remembering where he is, and panics. Scrambling backwards against the bed, breathing rapidly, his eyes dart about the room. He takes in the dresser and his bags on the floor as the day’s events come back to him. Missing the bus, Sal, a ride through the country, sweet, lovely Crowley....</p><p><em>Oh! What time is it?</em> He pushes himself to his feet, walks quickly to the dresser and grabs his cell phone. <em>Six O'clock! i promised to meet Crowley three hours ago! Oh, what must he think of me? Someone so sweet and kind and I so rudely stand him up.</em></p><p>Aziraphale opens his duffel bags and searches for the least wrinkled shirt he can find. Nothing is acceptable. Frustrated he pulls out another plain white T-Shirt, the least wrinkled in the bag, and his second pair of blue jeans. He will iron and hang his other clothes later.</p><p>He fluffs his hair in the bathroom mirror, attempting to make himself as presentable as possible. Aziraphale does hope Crowley isn't too upset with him.</p><p><em>I’ve barely known the man a day, and I’m already letting him down.</em> He sighs and hurries to the door. As he pulls it open a note falls to the carpet. Aziraphale picks up the paper, his name is written on the outside.</p><p><em>He spelled it correctly.</em> He muses, unfolding the note and begins to read:</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Hey,</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>You looked tired earlier, so I'm guessing you fell asleep. No worries, I had some stuff to get done around the house that I'd been putting off anyway. Supper will be ready around 5, if you're up and want to come over to eat. If you sleep past that, it's cool, I'll put the leftovers in my fridge for you to eat whenever.</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>No matter when you wake up, I'll still run to the store for you if you want. Walmart is open 24 hours, and I'm off work tomorrow. Just make me a list. Come on over anytime you're ready. You're always welcome.</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>A. Crowley</em> </strong>
</p><p>Aziraphale sucks in a surprised breath. He isn’t accustomed to anyone being this kind and patient with him. Well maybe his nanny when he was a child, but she had been paid to care.</p><p>His mother had died when he was four, and his father was a distant man, never cruel, but not at all loving. He had passed of a heart attack when Aziraphale was seventeen, leaving his son with a fortune.</p><p>Aziraphale had moved from London to Florida a year later, and met Gabriel Strong, a lawyer, at a private country club. Gabriel was ten years Aziraphale's senior, and after only three months of dating, convinced the younger man to move in and combine all accounts. Looking back, Aziraphale realizes he was being used for his money, but at the time he was young and so desperately wanted to be loved.</p><p>Gabriel was still in possession of all Aziraphale's money, except the $100,000 he was able to slowly hide away in another account. He didn't care, Gabriel could keep the remaining 1.2 million if it meant he left Aziraphale in peace.</p><p>He reads through the note once more, all the while smiling, before placing it in his pocket and beginning the walk to Crowley's home. The sun is lowing in the sky, but there is still a good hour of daylight left. Looking into Crowley's back yard, he sees a small garden he hadn't noticed earlier. Ahead, he spots Crowley on the porch swing. The red-head doesn't see Aziraphale coming, as Crowley's back is to him. When he is within 6 feet of his new landlord, Aziraphale speaks.</p><p>"Hello, sorry about earlier. I was so very rude, you see I accidentally fell asleep."</p><p>"Yeah, I figured that's what happened." Crowley turns and Aziraphale feels his breath get knocked out of him. The sunglasses are gone, and Crowley's eyes are gorgeous. Topaz yellow and the pupils are slits rather than rounded.</p><p>"Are those contacts?” The words are out before he has time to think. Crowley flinches at the question.</p><p>“Oh, I’m so sorry, it’s just that they are remarkably lovely. I meant no offense.” Aziraphale fidgets with his hands, hating himself.</p><p>“None taken, I hear it a lot.” Crowley gives a half smile. “It’s called coloboma. It’s congenital.”</p><p>“I must say, they fit you.” Aziraphale smiles.</p><p>“How so?” Crowley gives a look Aziraphale can’t read.</p><p>“Well rarely have I met someone as lovely and kind as you. You’re a rarity my dear. As are your eyes.” <em>When did I get this bold?</em> Aziraphale feels his face get warm.</p><p>That seems to be the proper response though because Crowley’s face is a mixture of surprise and delight.</p><p>“You’re the first person to put it like that. Most people say it makes me look evil, like a snake.” He taps his right temple. “S’why I got the tattoo.”</p><p><em>Ah the tattoo is a snake.</em> Aziraphale tips his head in order to see it properly for the first time.</p><p>“Well, then I think those people must be jealous.” Aziraphale says primly.</p><p>“Jealousy isn’t really the word I’d use for why they say it.”</p><p>Aziraphale cocks his head to the side. <em>What does that mean?</em></p><p>“Don’t worry about it, Angel.” Crowley laughs at Aziraphale’s apparent confusion. He stands and gestures towards the door. “If you’re hungry, I can heat up the leftovers and we can watch tv.”</p><p>“Angel?” Aziraphale stares at Crowley mouth agape. He watches as Crowley’s face shifts through several emotions, face turning as red as his hair.</p><p>“Um, well yeah.” Crowley stutters. He shifts nervously, looking down, like he’s hoping the ground will swallow him up. “The nickname popped in my head earlier, cause of your being named after an angel and all. Sorry, shouldn’t have said it out loud. Won’t again if you don’t like it.”</p><p>“I suppose Aziraphale is a mouthful.” The blond considers. “And I do hate when people try to shorten it.” He smiles at Crowley reassuringly. “So, yes I suppose Angel is fitting. Doesn’t bother me at all.” He can visibly see Crowley’s relief. “Lead the way, dear boy.”</p><p>Crowley holds the door for him, this is becoming a habit that Aziraphale very much likes.</p><p>Aziraphale enters a foyer, to his immediate left is an open door through which he sees a bed and a dresser. Crowley quickly closes the door as they walk by. Directly ahead is a door frame, opening into a hallway, which turns sharply to the left. Later he will discover this is where the restroom and laundry room are held. To his right is an archway leading into the living room. In here, to his left is a dark green sofa, and past it another open doorway, this leads to the kitchen. On the wall directly ahead of him is a loveseat the same color as the sofa, and the wall to his right has the large window looking out onto the two rocking chairs and table on the porch. The television is positioned in the corner between the window and the archway, making it viewable from both couch and loveseat. The floors and walls are wood and the ceilings are white.</p><p>Crowley gestures towards the couch and hands Aziraphale the remote. “Have a seat, I like to watch channel 3 in the evening, but you put it on whatever you want.”</p><p>Crowley grabs a small fold out table and sets it in front of Aziraphale who presses the power button on the remote and puts the television on channel 3. Crowley saunters from the room and soon Aziraphale hears him in the kitchen, plates clacking and microwave running.</p><p>
  <em>He’s taking care of me.</em>
</p><p>It is such a novel feeling. Aziraphale has always been a side thought, an inconvenience. Crowley treats Aziraphale as if he is special. Of course, Crowley may treat everyone this well, best not to get his hopes up.</p><p>The world news is just going off as Crowley sets a plate down in front of Aziraphale. It contains mashed potatoes, corn, a biscuit, a slice of ham and a freshly cut cucumber. “Is this from your garden?”</p><p>“Yep. Grow my own tomatoes and peppers too if you ever need any.” Crowley states proudly. “I already buttered the biscuit, but if you want more, I’ll bring ya some. Also I got gravy for the potatoes, but I didn’t put any on there, cause a girl I know dated a British fella once, and he said our gravy’s disgusting.”</p><p>“This is perfect. Thank you Anthony.” Aziraphale smiles, he feels awkward using the man’s surname.</p><p>Crowley doesn’t seem to mind as he settles on the other end of the sofa. “Well if you want more of anything, there’s plenty in there. Just let me know. Also got some cookies and Debbie Cakes if you want something sweet after you’re done.”</p><p>“Oh dear, this will be plenty. I’m fat enough already.” Aziraphale laughs nervously.</p><p>Crowley turns, pulling his leg onto the couch, so that his body is facing Aziraphale. His slender face contorts in a look resembling pain. “Excuse me?”</p><p><em>Oh! I’ve said something inappropriate!</em> Aziraphale feels himself blush, he’s not sure how to respond to Crowley’s reaction. “I-I’m sorry. Have I done something wrong?”</p><p>“You haven’t done anything wrong Angel.” Crowley doesn’t look mad, he looks hurt. He stares at Aziraphale a moment longer, then turns his gaze to the television, his body still angled toward his guest, back leaning against the armrest.</p><p>The tension eventually dissipates, as they spend the next hour watching Wheel of Fortune and then Jeopardy. Aziraphale is very good with word puzzles, Crowley is more proficient at trivia, giving each a moment to shine over the hour. During a commercial break, Crowley cleans away Aziraphale’s plate and removes the table from in front of his guest.</p><p>For another half hour after that, they chat. Crowley isn’t just kind, but very intelligent. He is fascinated with astronomy and also machines, specifically cars, but never had the time or money to go to college. His parents hadn’t been the best and they’d disowned him at thirteen when he had come out. That’s when his grandparents took him in to raise.</p><p>Years later when they got sick, he tended to them, with help from Sal and another five cousins who are more like siblings to him. His dad ended up overdosing and his mom has run off and he hasn’t seen her in years.</p><p>Crowley is open, honest, and not ashamed of who he is. Brilliantly funny and animated, and Aziraphale is enamored.</p><p>As the clock approaches nine, Aziraphale stands. “Well, I’ve had a lovely evening, but I think it’s time to settle in for the night. Thank you for everything, Anthony.”</p><p>“Anytime. Let me walk you, it’s awfully dark.” Crowley stands as well, following his guest to the foyer and grabs a flashlight. Before stepping outside, he offers his arm to Aziraphale. “Please. There’s a lot of holes and dips in the yard. Groundhog I can’t catch. I’d hate for you to fall.”</p><p>Aziraphale smiles, and laces his arm around Crowley’s offered elbow, resting his other hand on Crowley’s bicep. “Thank you. You’re quite the gentleman, Anthony Crowley.”</p><p>“Don’t go telling people.” Crowley chuckles, blinking his eyes exaggeratedly. “Evil snake man, remember?”</p><p>“Oh yes, yes of course.” Aziraphale joins him in laughter.</p><p>It is a new moon, so the only lights as they step into the yard are from Crowley’s living room window, and the Maglite in his hand. Aziraphale hadn’t turned on any lights before leaving the trailer so he’s grateful to have Crowley with him. Not just for the light, but because he feels safe with him. Walking with him arm in arm under the night sky feels intimate.</p><p>“My family’s having a cook-out Monday, if you wanna come.” Crowley’s voice finds him in the darkness.</p><p>“Would they be comfortable with a stranger there?” Aziraphale asks.</p><p>“You’re not a stranger. Strangers don’t set in my house, eat my food and watch Jeopardy with me.” Crowley lays a hand on the one covering his bicep. “Pretty sure that makes us friends, yeah? Plus you’re friends with Sal too..... Damn you’re practically family!”</p><p>Aziraphale laughs. “Well if you really don’t think it’ll be an inconvenience, I’d love to go.”</p><p>“Good. Great. Definitely not an inconvenience. Very, very convenient I’d say.” Crowley gives him a soft smile as they arrive at Aziraphale’s door.</p><p>“Thank you again for dinner.” Aziraphale removes his arm from Crowley’s and unlocks the door.</p><p>“Thank you for spending your evening with me, Angel.” Crowley’s voice is gentle.</p><p>Aziraphale looks into Crowley’s eyes. “Goodnight Anthony.”</p><p>“Goodnight.” Crowley starts to walk away, then stops. Turning around to face Aziraphale once more he adds, “And Angel.”</p><p>“Yes, Anthony?”</p><p>“For What it’s worth, I think you’re perfect.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Tell Me I Was Dreaming</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Some domesticity between Aziraphale and Crowley and Sal shows up with their kids. Aziraphale deals with some issues in association with his memories of Gabriel.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The title of this chapter is a Travis Tritt song. Blood is mentioned and a scary angsty sequence where you think a major character dies. Don’t worry he doesn’t! Also the Bentley is in this chapter 😊. Thank you for being the most wonderful people. I love you all!❤️💚</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aziraphale lay in bed, playing Crowley’s last sentence over in his head. <em>“For What it’s worth, I think you’re perfect.“ </em></p><p>He wants to tell Crowley it’s worth the world, pull him into an embrace and never let go. Aziraphale wants to be enveloped in Crowley’s strong, gentle arms, and know he is safe. Held by a man who would never hurt him.</p><p>But there is another part of him that wants to warn Crowley.<em> Run, I’m not perfect, all I’ll do is disappoint you or bring you pain.</em> Because Aziraphale knows there is a high possibility his ex could come looking for him. Gabriel, a man of money and power who has no barriers. Aziraphale has seen, more often than not, that rules don’t apply to men like Gabriel Strong. Obstacles can either be paid off or swept under the rug. Anyone who stands in his way gets hurt, and he is possessive of what he owns. And Gabriel believes he owns Aziraphale.</p><p>Aziraphale doesn’t want Crowley to get hurt, but selfishly, he also doesn’t want Crowley to stop pursuing him. Because that <em>is</em> what’s happening. All Aziraphale’s doubts went out the window as Crowley had walked him home.</p><p>Aziraphale has no idea how someone that gorgeous, smart and wonderful could be romantically interested in someone as fat and dull as himself. And he sure as Hell knows he doesn’t have the will power to reject it.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>The next morning Crowley drives Aziraphale to Jackson for groceries and household supplies. Once home Crowley helps Aziraphale get his groceries put away and the house settled to his liking.</p><p>Afterwards Crowley is finally able to give Aziraphale the tour of the property. In total he owns ten acres, inherited from his grandparents. At least half of it is forest, and Crowley plans to keep it that way. “Gives me a place to hunt during deer season, without the risk of running into anyone else.”</p><p>The unforested area is as beautiful as the forested. The front lawns face the dirt road and open fields for miles. Aziraphale’s place has no back lawn with only six feet between the back of his house and the tree line. Crowley’s backyard is open, 2 acres with a pond surrounded by huge pine trees that span about 20 feet apart. Crowley’s garden is along the side of the house facing Aziraphale’s.</p><p>“There are no other houses for at least 3 miles.” Crowley tells him. “So, if you ever need anything don’t hesitate to come get me, day or night.”</p><p>They spend the remainder of the morning sitting on the porch swing. Aziraphale does enjoy watching the hummingbirds, their iridescent feathers shimmering.</p><p>“That ones the bully.” Crowley points to a red breasted creature that lunges at every other bird which tries to feed. “Thinks he owns the place. Tried running him off, cause he won’t let the smaller ones eat. He tries to hurt them. But he just keeps coming back.”</p><p><em>Those types always do.</em> Aziraphale shivers.</p><p>Crowley doesn’t turn his head, but his voice shows his concern. “You okay, Angel?”</p><p>“Yes, I’m fine. My mind is wandering.”</p><p>Crowley nods, mouth turned slightly down. “Anything you wanna talk about?”</p><p>Aziraphale shakes his head. “I’d prefer not.”</p><p>“Okay.” Crowley lays his hand loosely over Aziraphale’s to comfort, giving Aziraphale the ability to pull away if he wants. “If you ever feel you need to, I’ll always be here to listen.”</p><p>Aziraphale turns his hand over and weaves his fingers with Crowley’s. “Thank you, dear. Someday. Just not yet.”</p><p>Crowley squeezes the hand in his and offers a reassuring smile. “So, you wanna sit up late with me tonight?”</p><p>“What will we be doing?” Aziraphale asks eyes fixed on the hummingbirds.</p><p>“Eating popcorn, watching SNL. You know wild Saturday night shenanigans.”</p><p>He turns to look at Crowley. “Sounds like my kind of party.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Aziraphale has lunch with Crowley on a blanket under the pines, looking at the pond.</p><p>"You like cars?" Crowley asks.</p><p>"Never given them much thought, actually." Aziraphale sets his sandwich on a napkin. He eats slowly, and nowhere near as much as he’d like to.</p><p>"Well, I love them. Part of why I'm in my line of work." Crowley had told him earlier that <strong>Beez Mechanical</strong> is a vehicle servicing and autobody shop. He's worked there since graduating and loves the job. His boss is a hard ass but fair. The other two mechanics there are idiots.</p><p>"I suppose that would make sense. Why do you ask?"</p><p>"When we're done here, I'd like to show you my pride and joy." Crowley's eyes gleam. "I keep her in the garage and take her out for car shows."</p><p>After they finish the meal and clean up, Crowley walks Aziraphale to the garage. Inside the walls are covered in tools, a deer-stand and holiday decorations. To the left is a riding lawn mower and a blue 4-wheeler. To the right, is a gorgeous, black vintage car.</p><p>"Oh, dear, she's beautiful." Aziraphale gasps. "What is she?"</p><p>Crowley beams, "She's a 1926 Bentley."</p><p>Aziraphale walks around the car. Although nearly a century old, it looks brand new. "This is truly amazing, and you really did all this yourself?"</p><p>"Yep, she's my most prized possession." Crowley watches Aziraphale admire the car. "I can take you for a ride in her sometime if you'd like."</p><p>"It would be an honor." Aziraphale looks up and smiles.</p><p>Just then they hear a car approaching from down the driveway. Aziraphale recognizes the small silver car as Sal's. They exit the vehicle along with two teenagers. Sal introduces the young men as their children, Greg 17 about the same height as Sal, lean with long dark hair and Harry 15, a tall wiry boy, with Sal’s hair and eyes. Aziraphale is mildly surprised because as much as Sal had talked upon their first meeting, they had failed to mention being a mom. (It’s the term they allow their children to call them.)</p><p>The group of them spend the next few hours playing a game Greg had brought, <strong>Cards Against Humanity</strong>. Aziraphale is shocked at first by the vulgarity of the game, but also finds the card combinations to be hilarious.</p><p>"No offense, but you're okay with your children playing this?" Aziraphale asks.</p><p>"None taken. You might think I'm a terrible parent, but I don't shelter them. Always talk to them like they're people and listen to them like they are too. A lot of people go about parenting with the whole <em>I'm the boss, never wrong, you'll do as I say. We can't talk about certain subject cause I'm your authority figure."</em> Sal stiffens their arms at their sides, puffs their chest out and bobs about exaggeratedly as they says the last sentence in a mock authoritative voice. Once finished with their impression they laugh. "I know I'm flawed, so if they don't like how I've treated them in a situation, they are allowed to question it, as long as they give my response consideration. If I am wrong, I apologize. If they're wrong, I expect the same consideration.”</p><p>Aziraphale doesn’t mean for it to, but his face expresses his doubts about that sort of freedom in parenting.</p><p>Sal stops laughing and their expression turns sad. "I know it's unconventional, but I have my reasons. I was talked at and down to for so long. Same for the boys for the first for the first few years of their lives. Marcus was just as cruel to them as he was to me. I don't want that relationship with them." They sigh, and Aziraphale understands the pain of their memory. "This logic also extends to what I'll allow them exposure to. Honestly, boys their age have heard all this stuff already." Sal gestures to the cards. "If I make them ashamed of asking or talking about things, they won't feel safe to let me know what's going on in their lives."</p><p>"I suppose that does make sense, given your experience. Does it work for you?"</p><p>Sal laughs. "Yeah. They're good people. Just get to know them and tell me if you think it's working."</p><p>Aziraphale realizes, while talking to the young men, that although Sal's methods may not be the norm, they seem to work for them. Both boys are polite, and respect their mom. Not a fearful respect that Aziraphale had known with his own father, but almost a reverence. They laugh with Sal, have inside jokes with them, and talk nonsense with them. They treat Sal like a friend, but a friend whose opinion they highly regard.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Sal and their crew leave around eight. Crowley gives Aziraphale the remote and heads to the kitchen to bake a homemade pizza. An hour later he asks Aziraphale to set up the small table. Crowley enters shortly after with his bounty of pizza and beer. Aziraphale has never been much of a beer drinker himself, but with present company, it tastes like the finest of wines.</p><p>The two of them chat into the night, genuinely enjoying one another. Aziraphale knows he is smitten. Part of him feels ashamed, worried that maybe Gabriel was right all the times he had called him a whore. That he is being entirely inappropriate, showing interest in someone so soon, someone he has only known less than two days.</p><p>Yet another part of him doesn't care. This isn't some rebound. In his heart Aziraphale had been single for years and being with Crowley just feels right. Almost like they have known one another for centuries. He’s never before had a chance to be happy, and here it is, happiness, being offered on a silver platter, by gentle hands.</p><p><em>Fuck Gabriel.</em> He thinks and feels a rush. Just allowing himself to think the words makes Aziraphale feel a bit stronger, bolder. So, if over the evening, he finds himself sliding closer to Crowley on the couch, then who's to judge? Certainly not Crowley.</p><p>By 1:00AM as the SNL credits are rolling, Aziraphale’s head is resting on Crowley's shoulder. He can feel Crowley’s arm around him.</p><p>“Aziraphale?” Crowley nudges him. “Hey, Angel, it’s time to head home.”</p><p>Aziraphale squirms rolling his head so that the side of his face is against Crowley’s chest. <em>You smell so good. I don’t want to leave.</em></p><p>Crowley chuckles and tries again, teasing in his tone. “Angel, wake up. You want me to carry you home?”</p><p><em>I want to stay here with you.</em> “Leave me here.”</p><p>“I can do that. If you’re sure”</p><p><em>Yes I’m sure. I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.</em> He wants to say. Instead Aziraphale mumbles something that sounds like a yes and Crowley grabs a throw pillow from the floor. Slowly lifting himself out from beneath Aziraphale he gently lays his Angel’s head on the pillow. He walks to his room and grabs a blanket his grandma had crocheted for him years ago and drapes it over the blond.</p><p>“Goodnight, Angel.” Aziraphale feels gentle lips brush his temple.</p><p><em>Goodnight.</em> Aziraphale hums in response, a warm feeling spreading through his chest as he slowly drifts off to sleep.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Aziraphale startles awake. Something’s wrong. He lays on the sofa listening. After a moment he hears male voices yelling and scuffling from outside the window.</p><p>Aziraphale pulls himself into a sitting position and notices the front door is open. Before he can place his bare feet on the floor he hears a loud crack and a flash of light, through the curtains.</p><p>He feels his heart stop, a lump in his throat.<em> Please God no!</em> He shoves himself off the sofa and runs to the door.</p><p>The first thing he notices is Gabriel’s white Rolls Royce Phantom in the driveway, followed by the warm wet feeling beneath his feet.</p><p>
  <em>NO NO NO NO!</em>
</p><p>Aziraphale can’t catch his breath, he doesn’t want to look down, doesn’t want to see what he knows is there, what he knows he has caused. Tears running down his face he slowly lowers his eyes to the porch and to his horror, Crowley face down in his own blood. Blood as red as his beautiful hair.</p><p>He falls to his knees screaming. <em>I caused this, I got selfish and I fucked everything up. I wanted what I didn’t deserve and I got him killed.</em></p><p>He doesn’t realize his still screaming the name “Anthony!” as he’s seized from behind and pulled away.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Crowley has been asleep for around 4 hours when he’s pulled into the waking world by screams. Startled awake he can hear Aziraphale calling his name in the most heart wrenching way.</p><p>In a panic he bolts out of bed into the living room switching on the lights. Aziraphale is still asleep, tears trailing down his face.</p><p>Crowley kneels on the floor beside him. “I’m here, Angel. I’m here.”</p><p>Aziraphale’s body visibly shakes. He moans “Anthony” over and over between sobs.</p><p>Crowley grips his Angel’s shoulder gently trying to wake him.</p><p>“Aziraphale wake up. I’m right here. Tell me what’s wrong. What do you need?” He can feel his heart breaking watching that beautiful face wet and flush contorting in pain.</p><p>Aziraphale gasps and his eyes fly open, wide and unseeing.</p><p>“Look at me Angel. What’s wrong?”</p><p>Aziraphale’s eyes slowly adjust. “Anthony?”</p><p>It’s a whisper, so broken Crowley feels his stomach clench in pain.</p><p>“Yeah, Angel. You’re having a bad dream.” Before Crowley can finish the sentence, Aziraphale drops to his knees on the floor beside Crowley pulling him into a tight embrace. He holds Crowley and continues to sob. His body racking as he tries to catch his breath.</p><p>“I can’t do this to you Anthony. It’s not fair.”</p><p>“Can’t do what Angel? Tell me what happened.” He runs his hands slowly up and down Aziraphale’s back, hoping to calm him.</p><p>Aziraphale clings tighter, fists clenching the back of Crowley’s shirt. “I can’t get you hurt. It’s not fair. Gabriel will come for me. He always does, and he’ll hurt you to get to me. I care about you Anthony. I care about you a lot. Which is ridiculous of me I know. You barely know me, but there’s something happening when I’m with you, and if I stay it will get deeper. I can’t stand the idea of you getting hurt because of it. I’m not worth it, I’m not! I can’t stay here.”</p><p><em>Gabriel. So that’s the assholes name.</em> Crowley hugs Aziraphale closer. “Don’t you dare. Don’t you leave here, because of him.</p><p>Crowley leans back to look Aziraphale in the eyes. “You’re not ridiculous. I feel it too, felt it the first time I saw you.” He brushes blond curls away from Aziraphale’s face resting his thumb on his Angel’s jaw. “And don’t you ever say you’re not worth it again. You’re worth so much more than you could ever realize. You’re gorgeous, Aziraphale, and smart. You took my breath away the first moment I saw you, and have repeatedly done it since.”</p><p>Crowley rests his forehead against the Angel’s. “Don’t you bring this much light into my world, then take it away.” His voice breaks. He doesn’t care. He’ll beg if it means Aziraphale will stay. “Don’t hurt me like that.”</p><p>“He’ll hurt you if I stay.”</p><p>Determined golden eyes stare into Aziraphale’s watery blue ones. “I’d like to see him try."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Take Your Time</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Lots of fluff and dealing with Aziraphale’s emotions.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The title is the title of a Sam Hunt song. Thank you for all your support and I hope you enjoy!❤️💚</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Slowly coaxing Aziraphale off the hard floor, Crowley leans back onto the pillow and the arm of the sofa. Helping Aziraphale to position himself against his chest Crowley covers them both with the blanket.</p><p>“We’re safe, Angel.” He feels tears seeping into his shirt, where Aziraphale has buried his face. His Angel’s sobs are quieter, less violent than earlier. Crowley wraps one arm around Aziraphale, and the other hand gently strokes blond curls.</p><p>“I’ve got you. I’ll never let anyone hurt you again.” He whispers, resting his lips in Aziraphale’s hair.</p><p>Crowley continues to coo softly until he feels Aziraphale drift off to sleep. He can see the first rays of sunlight outline the living room curtains and lays his head back, allowing himself to drift off as well.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>They sleep until the late afternoon. Crowley was afraid Aziraphale would pull away after the dream, but to his relief the exact opposite has happened. All of Sunday Aziraphale never lets Crowley out of his sight.</p><p>They work together in the kitchen preparing what food Crowley plans to take to the gathering the next day. Crowley shows Aziraphale how to make broccoli casserole and blackberry pie.</p><p>“Actually pick the berries myself.” Crowley tells him, pointing towards the forest behind the pond. “There’s a patch in the woods back there where I can pick these, blueberries and raspberries.”</p><p>As evening approaches, and all their tasks are complete, Crowley gives Aziraphale a ride in the Bentley. It takes all the willpower Crowley has to focus on the road. The fading light catching the platinum hair and milky skin of the Angel in the passenger seat.</p><p><em>He’s like the sun.</em> Crowley feels something in his chest twist at the thought that anyone could be cruel to someone so gentle.</p><p>Aziraphale stares out the side window. “I don’t understand.”</p><p>“What?” Crowley glances over at his Angel.</p><p>Continuing to stare out at the country side, Aziraphale sighs. “It makes sense me falling for you. You’re handsome, brave and caring. You’re like a hero from a romance novel, who swoops in to save me in my moment of distress. You’re everything I need at the exact moment I need it.”</p><p>“Wow. M’kay. Never would’ve pictured myself like that, thanks.” Crowley blushes. “So, what is it you don’t understand?”</p><p>“Why you would want me?”</p><p>“I told you last night and I meant every word of it.” Crowley keeps his voice as soothing as possible. <em>Gabriel better hope to God I never meet him.</em></p><p>Aziraphale places a hand on Crowley’s knee. “You did, and I believe you meant it. I just don’t see it.”</p><p>Crowley brings Aziraphale’s hand from his knee to his lips. “Then I’ll remind you everyday until you do.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Once back at Crowley’s they have dinner together and at 10:00pm Aziraphale says he should head home. Crowley escorts him arm in arm just the same as their first night.</p><p>“The cookout’s at Jackson Lake at 11:00 tomorrow morning, so we’ll leave here about 10:45.”</p><p>Confused, Aziraphale asks. “But it takes twenty minutes to get to Jackson. Won’t we be late?”</p><p>Crowley shakes his head. “Nope, Jackson Lake is in Oak Hill.”</p><p>“Then why isn’t it called Oak Hill Lake?” Aziraphale’s forehead furrows.</p><p>Crowley can’t help but smile. <em>God he’s adorable.</em></p><p>“Because this whole area is Jackson County.” Crowley can’t help himself remembering the conversation in the car. “Sooooo. You read a lot of romance novels?”</p><p>He hears Aziraphale clear his throat. “I read a lot of everything actually. I have an enormous collection of books. Many rare and priceless first editions.” Aziraphale pauses. “Or I should say I had a collection. I suppose it’s Gabriel’s now.”</p><p><em>I’m such an ass.</em> “I’m sorry, Angel. Maybe someday you’ll get them back.”</p><p>Aziraphale shakes his head. “No. As much as I want them, it’s not worth the risk.”</p><p>“Well, I’ll tell you what.” Crowley smiles at the Angel. “You make a list and on the weekends we’ll go searching for them. Even look online every evening when I get home from work if you like. And until then I can take you to the library in town. They won’t be open until Tuesday because of the holiday, but I can pick you up on my lunch break from work then run you home.”</p><p>“That sounds wonderful dear. I do suppose once you’re back to work I’ll need something to occupy my time while you’re gone.” Aziraphale fidgets sounding mildly disappointed. When they reach the trailer’s door he unlocks it and flips on the living room and front porch lights.</p><p>“You gonna be ok Angel?” Crowley remembers the night before. He hates the thought of Aziraphale alone if something similar happens again.</p><p>Aziraphale smiles meekly. “If I’m honest, tonight will be just like last night, and every night since I left him.” Aziraphale shivers and takes Crowley’s hand. “So, no I’ll struggle tonight, but hopefully by morning I’ll be just fine.”</p><p>“Do you want me to stay?” Crowley asks, running his thumb over the back of Aziraphale’s hand.</p><p>“I don’t want to put you through that again, Anthony. You barely slept last night.” Crowley can hear tenderness in Aziraphale’s voice.</p><p>“I want to be there when you need me. You don’t have to do this alone.” Crowley raises his free hand and rests it against the Angel’s face.</p><p>“I know you do, but I’m afraid if I’m left alone with you tonight I might move too fast and ruin this.” Aziraphale’s eyes betray his longing as he leans his face into Crowley’s hand. “And I don’t want to ruin this.”</p><p>“Whatever you need.” He lifts Aziraphale’s hand to his lips. “Goodnight gorgeous.” He watches his Angel blush at the compliment. “You have my number. If you need anything at all, call me. You’re not alone anymore.”</p><p>“Thank you.” Aziraphale smiles. He steps forward and gently kisses Crowley’s cheek. “I’m glad to have you on my side.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Aziraphale doesn’t sleep well. Three times he wakes in a panic, violent images remaining with him as he tries to catch his breath.</p><p><em>I should have let Anthony stay.</em> He hadn't dreamt at all while Crowley held him. Aziraphale wants to feel that comfort again, but the idea of moving too fast, of messing up this beautiful thing between them, is more terrifying than Gabriel. He wants Crowley to respect him. He also doesn't want Crowley to think he’s fickle, to think Aziraphale is the type to float from man to man without a care.</p><p>He is also terrified of how he would react if he and Crowley became intimate. Aziraphale wants Crowley, fantasizes about that lean body over him, under him, skin pressing together. Of Crowley's cock in his mouth, of the red heads lips and tongue wrapped around his own. But he’s only ever been with Gabriel and Aziraphale fears disappointing Crowley if he starts something and can’t finish. If in the heat of the moment, he has a flashback, or realizes he needs to stop. Would Crowley get frustrated and be done with him? Finally realize Aziraphale isn’t worth the effort and send him away?</p><p>The cell phone on the dresser chimes, alerting him to a text. Aziraphale retrieves the phone and sets down on the foot of the bed. He knows who sent the message without looking, Crowley is the only person with his new number.</p><p><strong>Crowley:</strong> <em>Good morning, handsome. Let me know when you wake up. I'll make us both some breakfast.</em></p><p>Aziraphale smiles. He hesitates to admit it openly, but he is way beyond liking Crowley. Adore would be a closer description, right on the edge of falling into.....</p><p>Aziraphale shakes his head and stops the thought there. If this doesn't work out, it might not hurt so bad if he hasn’t admitted to feeling <em>that</em>.</p><p><strong>Aziraphale:</strong> <em>Good morning. Just getting out of bed now. Give me thirty and I'll be there.</em></p><p>Aziraphale hits send and heads to the shower. The warm water feels so good, and the thought of Crowley in his tight jeans, and honey eyes, has Aziraphale wishing he had given the red head a longer time frame to expect him.</p><p>After toweling off, Aziraphale steps into the walk-in closet. He's nervous about what to wear, wanting desperately to impress Crowley's family. After a long consideration, he settles on a short sleeve, robin egg blue button up shirt, light brown trousers and new white athletic shoes, he had just bought in Jackson during his and Crowley's shopping trip. Crowley had mentioned to Aziraphale that there are a number of nature trails at Jackson Lake State Park, and Aziraphale wants to be prepared. He definitely doesn't want to say no, if Crowley wants a walk alone in the woods or along the lake.</p><p> </p><p>Thirty-five minutes later he knocks on Crowley's door and the gorgeous man answers in tight, dark blue jeans, a black CCR T-shirt, and black snake-skin boots.</p><p>"Hey, Angel. You don't have to knock if the door's unlocked, just walk on in." He holds the door open for Aziraphale. "You look stunning by the way.”</p><p> </p><p>"Thank you, you're quite fetching as well." Aziraphale can feel the blush heating his face. This is all too surreal. He's not accustomed to receiving this sort of praise. It leaves him with a strange feeling of being happy but at the same time off kilter</p><p> </p><p>Crowley places his hand on the small of Aziraphale's back, leading him to the living room. The small tray table already waiting in front of the sofa. Aziraphale turns to face the man wooing him. "Anthony, why don't you have a dining room table?"</p><p> </p><p>Crowley stops. "Well, I never really had anyone to eat with me. Kinda sad to set in the kitchen alone." He points to the television. "At least this way I have the T.V. for company." His honey eyes look at Aziraphale concerned. "Does it make you uncomfortable?"</p><p> </p><p>"Oh, oh, no!" Aziraphale starts. "I was just curious. I actually very much enjoy sitting next to you while eating."</p><p> </p><p>Crowley's face brightens. "I do too, Angel. Have a seat, I'll be right back."</p><p>He goes into the kitchen briefly, and returns with a plate, of one egg, four pieces of bacon, and three salted tomato slices. “Didn't make a lot since we will be eating big in about three hours, but I also didn't want to leave you without breakfast. Be rude of me to have you starving and trying to socialize at the same time."</p><p> </p><p>Aziraphale half-heartedly laughs and pats his stomach depreciatively. "I do think it would take a lot longer than a few hours for me to starve.”</p><p> </p><p>“Please don't do that." Crowley's voice sounds almost stern. Not in a cold terrifying way, but in a way that conveys passion. "Stop repeating to yourself the lies that piece of shit told you. There is absolutely nothing wrong with your body." Crowley leans forward, his voice low and warm, inches from Aziraphale's ear. "In fact, you're goddamn sexy.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh." Aziraphale feels like the breath has been knocked out of him in the best way possible. He clears his throat, eyes wide, seriously reconsidering last night’s conversation about moving slow. "Alright, then, yes. Um, thank you."</p><p> </p><p>Crowley leans back smiling, "Eat up, Angel."</p><p>Aziraphale nods, looks at his plate and concentrates on eating.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Four hours later, Crowley is turning his pick-up onto a paved road leading to one of the many picnic areas at Jackson Lake State Park. Aziraphale can see the huge lake to his right as they drive up an incline. At the top of the hill, the road opens into a parking lot, with at least 15 vehicles. Once parked Crowley walks around and opens Aziraphale's door helping him down from the tall extended cab.</p><p>Each carrying the food they had prepared the day before, Crowley leads the way to a large covered picnic area. Aziraphale can feel himself beginning to panic, there are so many people, and he only knows three of them.</p><p> </p><p>"Just stick with me." Crowley whispers in Aziraphale's ear, apparently sensing his unease.</p><p> </p><p>Standing around four open grills, is a group of men ranging in age from mid-twenties to early seventies. Some in jeans and T-shirts, others in shorts, Aziraphale suddenly feels horribly overdressed.</p><p> </p><p>Children, also of ranging ages, run about, zig zagging around trees and the adults. Sal's two sons are among them, seemingly in charge of the little ones as the adult's set up and socialize. Aziraphale doesn’t see their mother anywhere. "Where's Sal?"</p><p> </p><p>"They can't always get off on holidays, depending on how many people want off that day. Their set days are Wednesday and Thursday for now." Crowley points to a couple in their late sixties. "Sal can't afford to get Greg a car, so their parents help the boys get places when they can't." Aziraphale notices the woman resembles Sal, only shorter and slimmer. The man is tall, stout, with a shaved head and white goatee. Sal has his build and eyes.</p><p> </p><p>"You must be Aziraphale. I'm Nat, this is my husband Harry." The couple stand to greet them, older Harry shakes Aziraphale's hand.</p><p> </p><p>"Pleasure to meet you both." He is trying very hard to not show how terrified he is. <em>Breath, just breath.</em></p><p>Aziraphale addresses Harry. "So, Sal named their youngest after you." <em>Talk about them, they won't ask about me.</em></p><p> </p><p>Harry nods. "Yeah, he was born four days before my birthday. I was extremely flattered, surprised Marcus let them do it."</p><p> </p><p>“So how are you settling into the trailer?" Nat asks.</p><p> </p><p><em>Please don't ask too many personal questions.</em> “Oh it’s splendid, as is the property. I love how isolated it is."</p><p> </p><p>Nat nods. "Are you from a more populated area? Your accent sounds foreign."</p><p> </p><p>"Yes, well I grew up in London." <em>Stop there, don't ask about my past in this country. </em>He can feel his hands start to shake.<em> I can't breath.</em></p><p> </p><p>As if by an answered prayer, Greg picks this moment to call for his grandparents to help him with three of the smaller children. Nat and Harry excuse themselves, and Aziraphale grabs Crowley's forearm for support. He feels like he may pass out. "I can't do this, Anthony."</p><p> </p><p>"Walk with me, Angel." Crowley glances around before placing a hand on Aziraphale’s back. He directs Aziraphale down a path walled in trees. They walk until the gathering is out of sight. Once alone Crowley turns to face his Angel, taking his hands. "Just breath Aziraphale. What do you need?"</p><p> </p><p>Aziraphale feels himself breaking and pulls away from Crowley's hands. "Everyone is going to ask me questions, questions I can't answer. Everything about my life in this country involves Gabriel, everything for the past decade has been ruled by him."</p><p>He can feel himself getting more hysterical with each sentence he speaks. " Your family is going to ask me questions. Questions that I’ll either answer and they’ll realize how weak and pathetic I am, or I don't answer and they won't trust me. Either way, they'll hate me."</p><p>Aziraphale begins to sob, he can't control it. "And if your family hates me, you'll never love me. Why would you anyway?" He starts backing away. "Even if you do think I'm attractive, Anthony, I'm broken. I'll never be anything but a burden because.....because...…" He doubles over on himself, hugging his arms around his stomach. "Because I'll always be like this."</p><p> </p><p>"Angel." The word comes out as a breath. Crowley stands still, looking shocked and heartbroken.</p><p> </p><p>"What?!" Aziraphale looks up to see Crowley, walking towards him carefully, as if he is afraid Aziraphale will run. He straightens his body, but still hugs his arms around himself, preparing for the verbal blow. "What, Anthony? Just say it!"</p><p>
  <em>Get it over with. Tell me I'm too emotional, too much to handle. Tell me I'm not worth it.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Crowley places his hands on both sides of Aziraphale's face. His honey eyes searching Aziraphale's. "Nothing my family thinks could stop me from falling in love with you. It's too late, Angel. I’m in love with you already."</p><p> </p><p>Aziraphale surges forward and feels all the fear and tension drain from his body. Crowley's lips are warm and wet. He tastes divine. Aziraphale winds the fingers of his right hand in Crowley's hair, pulling him forward, deepening the kiss. He teases the red-head's lips with his tongue, begging to be let in. Crowley tilts his head and parts his lips, granting his Angel access. Aziraphale's left arm encircles Crowley's thin waist and pulls their bodies together. He can feel Crowley's excitement against his own. Crowley moans into Aziraphale's mouth as their tongues slide and dance. Tasting, touching.</p><p>
  <em>Oh God this is amazing.</em>
</p><p>Eventually Aziraphale breaks the kiss. Breathing heavily, he opens his eyes to see Crowley, bright, desperate and excited, staring at him with longing and love.</p><p>“I-I think I feel better now.” Aziraphale giggles nervously. “Should we rejoin your family?”</p><p>“In a minute.” Crowley readjusts his pants, laughing and kisses Aziraphale on the nose. “Might need to rethink skinny jeans when I’m with you.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Can I Trust You With My Heart?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Aziraphale gets acquainted with the cousins Crowley is closest with. He tells Crowley everything about his past and they work through some of his fears together. Afterward our Ineffable Husbands make love ❤️💚. Then we get a glimpse of what’s happening with old Gabe. Sorry you had to expect that asshole was going to pop up at some point.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The title is the title of a Travis Tritt song.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aziraphale breathes a sigh of relief as they approach the picnic shelter. For a brief moment it seems as if no one has noticed their absence.</p><p>It was a short lived moment.</p><p>"Where'd you go?" The voice comes from the direction of two women sitting at one of the tables. The one who just spoke is tall, around the same age as Sal, full figured, with short brown hair, and hazel eyes. She is wearing a Shaun of the Dead t-shirt and blue jeans. The woman to her left is younger, late twenties, dark skin, shoulder length black hair, brown eyes, dressed stylishly in form fitting jeans and a red V-neck, leaving the tattoo across her chest visible.</p><p>"Bri! Alexis!" Crowley greets them cheerily. He leads Aziraphale to sit across from the two women. "Aziraphale these are two of my close cousins, Bri Bridges." He indicates towards the woman who spoke. "And Alexis Kelly." He gestures to the woman with the tattoo. Aziraphale shakes both theirs hands. Crowley turns to Aziraphale. "This is Aziraphale Fell."</p><p>"You didn't answer my question." Bri eyes them both suspiciously.</p><p>"Ah, that." Aziraphale chimes in. "I was having a bit of anxiety, you know with meeting all these new people. Anthony was helping to calm me down."</p><p>"I bet he was." Bri mumbles.</p><p>Alexis smirks. "Sal told us all about you Aziraphale, so how are you liking the trailer?"</p><p>Aziraphale finds himself feeling ill. "All about me?"</p><p>"Yeah, about you wanting to move away from the city. What made you choose Oak Hill?" Bri raises an eyebrow. "Not really the kind of place people search out."</p><p>"Well, I missed my bus, so here I am." Aziraphale shrugs his shoulders and smiles, relieved Sal hadn't betrayed him.</p><p>Both women laugh. "Seriously?"</p><p>"On my honor." Aziraphale lays his hand over his heart.</p><p>Alexis points at Crowley. "She also said this idiot practically threw himself at your feet when he saw you."</p><p>Crowley glares. "I did not.”</p><p>"Did he?" Bri turns to Aziraphale.</p><p>"Actually." He takes Crowley's hand on the bench seat between them. "He did."</p><p>Crowley whips his head looking betrayed. Aziraphale giggles and continues. "But I've done practically the same. I mean I quite literally did throw myself at him on the trail, just moments ago."</p><p>"I knew it!" Bri claps her hands excitedly.</p><p>"Angel!" Crowley feigns shock, but his ruse fails due to the laughter in his voice.</p><p>The conversation is interrupted when a woman in her early seventies announces that everyone should be silent as she says grace. After the prayer, a line is formed to eat. Four long picnic tables have been pushed together, end to end. They are covered in so much food that Aziraphale has trouble taking it all in.</p><p>The first table starts with the paper plates and cutlery. After that ham, turkey, fried chicken, hamburgers, hotdogs, casseroles of varying kinds, mashed, baked and fried potatoes. Green beans, baked beans, corn, peas, an enormous variety of fresh fruits and vegetables. The final table in the spread is covered in desserts. Cookies, brownies, multiple pies and cakes. At the end of the line is the beverages, soda, water, lemonade and iced tea.</p><p>Aziraphale notices a man in a police uniform approaching.</p><p>"I'll meet you back at the table, Angel." Crowley tells him, and then walks to greet the officer.</p><p>"That's my brother, Andrew." Alexis tells him referring to the new arrival. " He's on duty right now. A Statie, out of the Jackson post."</p><p>"Are most of you in law enforcement?" Aziraphale is feeling much better about police protection in this area already.</p><p>"Either that, medical fields, education or factories." Says Alexis. "I'm a dental hygienist, my husband, Mike works in a distribution center. Anna over there is a nurse." She points towards a blonde in her mid-thirties. "Her husband Tom is a teacher. Bri is a drug counselor, her husband, Shane, is in college for film. The older folks are retired now, but most were Corrections Officers like Sal. As for the cousins who have moved away, we haven't really kept track of them."</p><p>"Do any of you have children?" Aziraphale asks to carry on the conversation.</p><p>"Not me or Crowley, but all the rest do." Bri points to the gaggle of small children running underfoot. "You know, it isn't like Crowley to open up to new people. He hasn't made new friends or dated anyone for years. In fact, Sal was surprised when he reacted to you like he did. The only friends he has are either family, or people we've all known since school."</p><p>Plates full the three new friends head back to their table. "You're obviously special, Aziraphale. So please don't hurt him." She warns. "Not that I think you would, but when Crowley cares, he cares quickly and with his whole heart. If he loves you, he’ll sacrifice himself in anyway to make you happy. Don't take that for granted."</p><p>Aziraphale stares. "I would never hurt him. I'm still in awe someone that wonderful has shown an interest in me at all. I swear to you, on my life, I'll not take him for granted."</p><p>Bri nods. "Good, welcome to the family."</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>As the afternoon fades into the evening, everyone begins to slowly disperse. Crowley helps Aziraphale into the truck, and then circles around to the driver's side. Once behind the wheel he takes Aziraphale's hand. "Did you have fun, Angel?"</p><p>"Yes. I adore your family. Especially Bri. She's very protective of you." Aziraphale smiles.</p><p>"She like that with all of us." Crowley takes a deep breath. "I hope I didn't scare you earlier when I just blurted out that I love you. I don't want to scare you away, you were just in so much pain, and I meant every word of it. But if I moved too fast, I'm s-"</p><p>"I love you too." Aziraphale interrupts sliding his body along the bench seat, until his side is pressed against Crowley's. "Forget what I said last night. I want to tell you everything, to spend every moment with you that I can. Day or night, as long as you're one hundred percent in this with me. I need to know I can trust you with my heart."</p><p>Crowley nods, his bare eyes wide. "I'm in, Angel. Totally in. And you can trust me, I swear to God"</p><p>Aziraphale kisses him before leaning his head on Crowley's shoulder. "Then take me home, Anthony."</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Crowley drives home the happiest and most terrified he has ever been in his life. Nuzzled against him is the most beautiful person Crowley has ever laid his eyes on. An angel. <em>My Angel. My Angel who said he loves me.</em></p><p>The terrifying part is, he doesn't know exactly what Aziraphale is expecting when they get home. Hell, he isn't even sure which home it is Aziraphale meant. "So, um, Angel, when you say home, do you mean the trailer?"</p><p>Aziraphale turns his face upward, chin resting on Crowley's shoulder. "Yours feels more like home to me than the trailer."</p><p>His lips are right by Crowley's ear, those blue eyes staring up at him. <em>Oh God, does he know what he's doing to me?</em> Crowley feels he can't get them home fast enough.</p><p>Once parked in his driveway, Crowley quickly exits the truck followed by Aziraphale, who watches Crowley hopefully. "I need to tell you everything before we proceed."</p><p>"I'm here, Angel. I'm listening. Whatever you need, I got you.”</p><p>"Let's go inside first, shall we?" Aziraphale takes Crowley's arm, as they walk to door.</p><p>Once in the house Aziraphale walks to the sofa and settles onto the middle cushion, indicating to Crowley to set beside him. "I'm going to tell you my whole life story. Every dark and broken thing about myself. Please, don't interrupt or stop me. And at the end of it all, I hope you will still want me."</p><p>Crowley starts to argue. To tell Aziraphale he will always want him, no matter what has or will happen, but his Angel has asked him not to interrupt, so instead he nods.</p><p>"I come from an extremely wealthy family. I want to start with that because it will clarify later details. When I was very young, my mother died. I spent my years raised by a nanny and home schooled by a tutor. I rarely saw my father, as the sight of me reminded him too much of mother, yet I was sheltered from the world, because I was all he had left of her. He would spend a little time with me each Christmas, until he decided he couldn't deal with looking at me any longer, then I would be alone again."</p><p>Crowley watches as tears form in Aziraphale's eyes. He leans against the back of the sofa, opening his arms as an invitation for his Angel to settle against him. Aziraphale smiles and accepts the offer, snuggling into Crowley's arms.</p><p>"Father died of a heart attack when I was seventeen, leaving me with a fortune. I had no one in London, so I decided to spend a few years in the States, looking for my place in the world and such. I tried making friends, by joining an exclusive country club. It was there I met Gabriel Strong." Crowley feels Aziraphale shudder in his arms, he places a gentle kiss into feathery curls.</p><p>“Gabriel was kind at first and charming. He is a lawyer and told me he also came from old family money. After a lot of urging on his part and convincing me that he loved me, I moved into his apartment and combined our accounts. Giving him access to all my wealth.”</p><p>Aziraphale pauses, looking up at Crowley with a sad, pleading expression. “Please don’t think me too foolish, I was young and so desperate to be loved. I know now he was using me, in fact I think in the back of my mind I knew then, but I just didn’t let myself see it.”</p><p>Crowley runs a hand, supportively up and down Aziraphale’s arm and kisses his forehead.</p><p>“I realized too late that the ‘family money’ he possesses is from a family he represents legally as well as assets he had taken from other former lovers. This family I’ve mentioned, runs a drug cartel and consider Gabriel part of the family because of his ability to keep them out of trouble. Gabriel has people working for him on the police force and a large number of judges under his thumb.” Aziraphale hugs Crowley tightly, tears escaping his eyes. “He can make horrible things happen, and everyone who should be stopping him looks the other way.” Aziraphale’s eyes show his fear. “I wasn’t exaggerating when I said he could hurt you.”</p><p>Crowley responds with a kiss to Aziraphale’s nose. <em>I’d die for you Angel.</em></p><p>Aziraphale sighs, obviously upset and getting more so with each sentence. “Once Gabriel had me, he cut me off from most of my money. If I took a noticeable amount out, I was punished. He also started to improve me, make me into what he felt he deserved. It started with dictating my wardrobe, then to controlling what and how much I ate, along with strict exercise schedules. I was told when I could speak, what I could say when I spoke, and when to stay out of the way. If I made a misstep there were serious consequences. There have been times I was left in my own blood on the floor, broken nose, bloody lip, and told to get off my lazy ass and clean the mess.” Aziraphale is crying and Crowley can feel the clench in his own chest and tears in his eyes as he listens.</p><p>
  <em>I’m gonna kill the son-of-a-bitch.</em>
</p><p>“I tried to get away once by going to the police. This was before I knew Gabriel had people there. They called him to come get me, told me to “handle it like a man”. I went to them begging for help and they sent me home with the bastard.” In a sotto voice. “I almost died that night.”</p><p>Crowley can’t stop the sob that breaks through as he buries his face in curls.</p><p>“Naturally, I stopped caring for or desiring him any longer. But as much as he seemed to hate me, his needs didn’t dwindle.” Aziraphale’s body is shaking as he sobs. “I would tell him no, and he would beat me into submission. Sometimes if I didn’t say no he would beat me beforehand anyway. Other times he would force it on me as a punishment for messing up. And he wasn’t gentle, ever. He made sure it hurt, Anthony. It hurt so very badly.”</p><p>Crowley tenses, something akin to Hellfire blazed in his chest. <em>The motherfuckers dead. I’ll hunt down the piece of shit and rip his throat out myself.</em></p><p>“I’ve never been with any man but Gabriel, so what he’s done is my only experience with sex. And I’m afraid. So very very afraid.” Crowley hugs Aziraphale, both sobbing against each other. Clinging as if the other is their only lifeline.</p><p>They stay this way for several minutes. Crowley wishing he has the ability to heal, to take all his Angel’s pain away. But he doesn’t, so he holds Aziraphale until he has calmed enough to speak again.</p><p>“I’m not afraid of sex itself. I still have urges.” He looks up at Crowley giving a small smile. “I’ve certainly had urges the past few days.”</p><p>Crowley smiles back wiping Aziraphale’s tears away with his thumb.</p><p>Worry creeps back onto Aziraphale’s face. “But I have horrible flashbacks at the worst possible times. What if we start, and I hit the breaks? What if I’m horrible at making love? What if you don’t find me exciting enough? What if we’re making love and I need to stop? What if I’m just too much baggage?”</p><p>Aziraphale clings to Crowley. Crowley holds him wishing he had more to offer Aziraphale. Wishing he could take the pain away.</p><p>“May I speak now Angel?” Crowley asks gently. Aziraphale nods.</p><p>“If we start and you need to stop, then we stop. You don’t owe me or anyone else sex, Aziraphale. I’m not entitled to your body, ever no matter the moment or how many times we’ve made love already. I would consider it a privilege if you would have me in that way, each and every time you would choose to do so. But it’s most important you understand that you have the right to revoke that privilege at anytime.”</p><p>Aziraphale nods wide eyed, Crowley continues. “So, you just let me know what support you need, when you need it Angel. Because I’ll give you whatever you want, I’m here for you always and I’ll wait forever if you need me to.”</p><p>“Take me to bed, Anthony.” Aziraphale’s eyes are bright from crying.</p><p>Crowley is stunned. This is not at all what he was expecting. “Are you sure, Aziraphale? Don’t offer this unless you actually want it. I’ll wait as long as you need.”</p><p>“I want this.” Aziraphale stands, taking Crowley hands. “I want to know how it feels when the person I’m with actually loves me.”</p><p>Crowley allows himself to be led to the bedroom. “Are you absolutely sure, Angel? I swear, I meant it when I said I’ll wait forever if you tell me to.”</p><p>“Please, Anthony, if you want me, give me this. I’ll tell you if I need to stop.” Aziraphale places his hands on the button of Crowley’s pants. “I promise.”</p><p>Crowley is in silent awe, as Aziraphale brings their lips together. He’s careful, letting his Angel take the lead. Crowley feels Aziraphale open his pants, as he murmurs against Crowley’s lips “Let me see you Anthony.”</p><p>Crowley steps back and removes his clothing. Shirt first then shimmying off the jeans and briefs.</p><p>Aziraphale looks him over appreciatively. “Lay on the bed for me, Darling. Please.”</p><p>Crowley slides onto the bed and props himself on the pillows.</p><p>Aziraphale begins removing his own clothing. Crowley can barely breath, stretched out and vulnerable. His cock hard, red and on display, he’s never been so aroused.</p><p>Soft fabric falls to the floor. When Aziraphale is down to his boxers, he stops, self-consciously looking down at himself.</p><p>“You’re beautiful, Angel.” Crowley means every word of it. Creamy skin flecked with light golden hair, broad, strong shoulders, and curves. Oh,God The Angel’s curves are heavenly. Crowley desperately wants to touch him but curls his fists into the comforter instead. This has to be about Aziraphale and his comfort.</p><p>Aziraphale lifts his eyes to Crowley’s, then slowly scans the rest of the lean body. Bright blue eyes lingering between Crowley’s legs.</p><p>“So are you my dear.” Aziraphale’s shoulders visibly relax, and he pushes his boxers to the floor. Crowley can’t help but stare at the perfect cock, erect, thick and pink, haloed by a patch of blond hair. Crowley wants Aziraphale in his mouth, to cup his balls in his hand, and take his Angel in until Crowley’s eyes water from the pressure on the back of his throat.</p><p>Aziraphale crawls over Crowley, lowering himself and pushing their bodies flush together.</p><p>“Aziraphale.” Crowley moans this name, dragging the syllables out slowly. Their bodies fit perfectly, cocks rubbing as Aziraphale ruts his pelvis hard into Crowley’s. The red head cries out and is silenced by full pink lips pressing against his own.</p><p>“Touch me, Anthony.” Aziraphale breaths against Crowley’s lips, wrapping his fingers in red hair.</p><p>Crowley does, hands sliding everywhere, Aziraphale’s face, hair, soft shoulders, down his back and resting on his ample ass squeezing lightly. At the touch Aziraphale ruts forward hard, causing both men to gasp, their cocks grinding together. It’s been so long and Aziraphale is so goddamn perfect, Crowley fights the urge to come.</p><p>Aziraphale’s tongue is in Crowley’s mouth, deep, wet and hungry. <em>Eat me alive Angel. Take whatever you want.</em></p><p>Aziraphale begins kissing along his jaw, the snake tattoo, his ear, as he nibbles at the lobe he whispers. “Can I make love to you? I want to feel you wrapped around me.”</p><p>Crowley feels his leaking dick twitch. <em>Not yet you little red bastard.</em></p><p>“Yes, oh God, Angel, please.” Crowley tries to calm himself. He wants this to last. “The lube is in the top of my dresser.”</p><p>Aziraphale stands, opening the dresser drawer. Crowley can’t take his eyes off his thick round ass. Everything about the man is perfect.</p><p>Aziraphale’s face is flush, his eyes sparkle as he returns to the bed, bottle in hand. He straddles Crowley’s left leg as he slicks his fingers. Setting the bottle beside them on the bed, his Angel leans forward to kiss along Crowley’s throat and Aziraphale’s index finger begins to tease his tight hole. Aziraphale’s dick is pressing into Crowley’s leg, his teeth nipping at the soft skin of the red-head’s neck, his velvet tongue licking wet traces after each small bite.</p><p>“You taste so good darling.” Aziraphale breaths as his index finger slides inside. Crowley’s breathing becomes ragged as the blond twists his finger and kisses a trail down Crowley’s chest. Aziraphale’s mouth finds Crowley’s nipple and begins to suckle the hard pink mound, his finger rubs over Crowley’s prostate, resulting in him yelling out Aziraphale’s name and frantically reaching for the blond.</p><p>Aziraphale pulls his mouth away with an audible pop, and watches Crowley’s face as he presses in a second finger. His blue eyes a mixture of lust and love.</p><p>“I love you Aziraphale. Oh G-God how I love y-you.” Crowley stutters out, feeling himself coming apart. Aziraphale pushes in a third finger and surges forward colliding his mouth to Crowley’s. He kisses him passionately, teeth hitting as Aziraphale licks and sucks Crowley’s tongue.</p><p>Crowley forgets himself and wraps his fingers in golden curls. Aziraphale hums approvingly as he scissors his digits, opening his lover.</p><p>Crowley is gasping when Aziraphale breaks the kiss to reach for the lubricant, dripping the oil onto his penis. One hand still working Crowley open, as the other slicks Aziraphale’s beautiful thick cock.</p><p>“Please, Angel” Crowley begs. Aziraphale removes his fingers and positions himself between Crowley’s thighs, lining himself up to enter. Aziraphale makes eye contact and whispers “I love you” as he pushes in.</p><p>Crowley throws his head back. “Fuck!”</p><p>Aziraphale, once fully sheathed, lays his body over Crowley’s, faces inches apart as he pumps carefully. Crowley moans each time Aziraphale’s dick presses against his sweet spot.</p><p>“I love you, Anthony.” Aziraphale reaches between them, his still slick hand wrapping around Crowley’s penis.</p><p>“Oh. Sweet fuck! I love you too Angel!” He wraps his legs around Aziraphale, urging him on. “Please Angel, fill me. Claim me. Make me yours.”</p><p>Aziraphale picks up speed, pumping Crowley’s cock in time with his thrusts. Crowley screams arching his back and clinging to Aziraphale as he feels himself explode, leaving a mess on Aziraphale’s hand and both their stomachs.</p><p>Aziraphale isn’t far behind, three more pumps and he is over the edge, moaning “Anthony” as Crowley feels himself fill with his Angel’s seed.</p><p>Aziraphale collapses onto Crowley, burying his face in Crowley’s neck.</p><p>“You ok Angel?” Crowley asks, suddenly concerned.</p><p>“Fantastic dear.” Aziraphale props himself up onto his elbows. “Thank you. That was amazing.” He places a light kiss to Crowley’s lips, twisting strands of red hair between his fingers. “I love you dearest.”</p><p>“I love you too Aziraphale.” Crowley lightly runs his finger-tips over Aziraphale’s back. “Will you stay with me tonight, Angel? Please?”</p><p>“I’d like that, love.” Aziraphale kisses him one more time. “Let’s go clean up, shall we?”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>A thousand miles away, Gabriel returns to his apartment, having ended his “business trip” early. He’d tried calling Aziraphale six times the day before and three times that day. The dumb bitch won’t answer his phone, obviously having forgotten his place.</p><p>“Aziraphale!” Gabriel calls out when he opens his door. No answer. “Don’t ignore me, you little whore. Get down here, NOW!”</p><p>Still no answer.</p><p>He hadn’t wanted to come home quite so soon. The man he had been with was everything Gabriel knew he deserved, but he couldn’t let his cash cow run around thinking he could do whatever the hell he wanted.</p><p>He storms through the empty apartment. “Don’t cross me you worthless slut.”</p><p>Arriving in the bedroom, he notices the clothes strewn about and some of the luggage missing resulting in violet eyes seeing red. He checks the tracker on his cell that lets him see the location of Aziraphale’s. It indicates the other phone should be in the apartment.</p><p>He finds it on the floor by the bed. “Stupid little bitch.”</p><p>If Aziraphale is gone it could place Gabriel in a risky financial situation. What if the little fat pig tries to take off with the money?</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Across town Officer Michael Bright’s phone lights up. “Yes, sir. What can I help you with?”</p><p>“He’s taken off, we need to find him. He knows too much and if he refuses to know his place, we need to get rid of the asset.” She hears Gabriel’s voice fume.</p><p>“I understand sir. Shall I get the others involved as well?” Michael’s always had back channels.</p><p>“Whatever you need to do to fix this problem as quickly as possible.”</p><p>“Yes, sir. I’m on it.” With any luck this won’t take too long at all.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. It's A Great Day to Be Alive</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Aziraphale finds more independence, only having a few moments of doubt. Crowley is being the supportive beauty we all know he is. We meet Beez (who’s aloof but cool), Hastur and Ligur (who are homophobic assholes) and Anathema Device (who’s cool, as always)</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry not much action happens this chapter, (well bad action lol) but it’s all relevant to the story. There’s gonna be happiness and other conflicts before Gabriel and his goons track Aziraphale down. Hope you don’t get bored of all the relationship building happiness, and small town asshole conflicts I have in store before we get to the shit hitting the fan. Also there’s some smut, but sweet smut because that’s what my overly romantic ass writes. The title of the chapter is the title of a Travis Tritt song. Enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aziraphale sleeps better than he has in years. There are no monsters in his dreams this night, only gentle touches and honey eyes.</p><p>He wakes to Crowley’s alarm buzzing on the dresser. He hears his lover groan, shift and silence the sound before rolling over and draping a slender arm across Aziraphale who wraps himself around his love in turn.</p><p>“Good morning, gorgeous.” Crowley’s chin rests on Aziraphale’s chest, fingers making circle patterns in the light hairs dispersed there.</p><p>Aziraphale can’t stop himself from smiling at Crowley, who is looking at him with such love, his flaming red hair askew. Aziraphale smooths the wild locks with his fingers, never having felt this much love for anything in his life. “Good morning, Anthony. Did you sleep well?”</p><p>“Never better.” He kisses Aziraphale’s chest. “And you?”</p><p>“Wonderfully. First good sleep I’ve had in years.” Aziraphale twists his fingers in soft vermilion strands.</p><p>Crowley slithers up until he reaches Aziraphale’s lips, leaving a kiss there, light and sweet. Pulling back he nuzzles his face into Aziraphale’s neck and mumbles against the soft skin. “Don’t wanna go to work.”<br/>“I don’t want you to either.” Aziraphale sighs, worrying over being alone all day with Crowley gone. Concerned of where his thoughts might lead him without the distraction of Crowley’s love. “Will you still come on your lunch break to take me to the library?”</p><p>“Course. I get an hour, so I may even have time to eat with you too.” Crowley peppers kisses along Aziraphale’s jaw.</p><p>Aziraphale revels in the adoration. He lays back, eyes closed, taking in the sensation of Crowley’s mouth against his skin. “How long until you need to leave?”</p><p>“We won’t have time to play this morning, Angel. I need to be gone in the next twenty minutes.” Crowley chuckles and brings his lips to Aziraphale’s again. Upon breaking the kiss, he waggles his eyebrows. “But there’s always tonight, if you still want me.”</p><p>“I’ll always want you, darling.” Aziraphale pushes a stray hair behind Crowley’s ear.</p><p>“Get some more sleep, Angel. I’ll be here between eleven thirty and noon to pick you up, based on when Beez lets me go.” He cups his hand to Aziraphale’s face and gives him one last lingering kiss. “Love you Aziraphale.”</p><p>“Love you Anthony.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>“Good morning!” Crowley practically floats through the front door of <strong>Beez Mechanical</strong> calling cheerfully to his coworkers, Randy Hastur and Frank Ligur.</p><p>“What’s good ‘bout it?” Ligur grumbles and Hastur frowns. For as long as Crowley has known this particular duo, they’ve always had the ability to suck all the joy out of a room.</p><p>“Everything boys, absolutely everything.” Crowley refuses to let their sour moods ruin his happiness. “What’s on the docket today?”</p><p>The chime over the front door indicates an arrival and seconds later Bea Beezl, known around town as Beez enters the garage. Beez has owned and ran this shop for the past fifteen years.</p><p>“You need to finish the bumper on the Miller boy’s Mustang, and Sam Thompson dropped off his Impala. Guess his idiot daughter hit a deer. He needs an estimate for the insurance compan before we can begin the body work. Dented the front end and took out a headlight. Some dents and scratches on the hood and roof too. Guess the deer rolled up and over the car.” Beez grimaces. “She had to have been flyin’ down the road for that to happen. Kids these days don’t know how to take care of anything when it’s just handed to them.” Shaking their head, Beez heads to their office.</p><p>Crowley gets to work. Throughout the day, Hastur and Ligur try to pry into what is causing Crowley’s upbeat mood. He simply waves them off, counting down the minutes until it is his turn to go to lunch.</p><p>The hours of Beez’s shop are 9:00AM to 6:00PM, weekdays. Crowley, Hastur and Ligur are to alternate their lunch breaks so at least two of them are in the shop at all times. Crowley doesn’t normally care when he gets to go, but that was before he had something worth getting to. He is practically begging to go first today to get back to Aziraphale.</p><p>By 11:15 his nervous energy has the other two mechanics on edge. Ligur is eventually the one to snap. “You got a hot date or sumthin’?”</p><p>Crowley blushes and ignores the question.</p><p>“Wait.” Ligur is suddenly less pissy and very intrigued. “Who the fuck is it?”</p><p>“You don’t know him.” Crowley waves his hand dismissively.</p><p>“Him?” Ligur glances at Hastur, who is suddenly interested as well. “It’s Oak Hill. Everyone knows everyone.”</p><p>“Well, you don’t know him, trust me. Can I go to lunch first today or not?” Crowley’s agitation shows. He doesn’t want these assholes in his business.</p><p>“Whatever, if it’ll shut you up.” Hastur rolls his eyes and goes back to helping Ligur line up a bumper.</p><p>“Thanks guys. I’ll be back in an hour.” Crowley sticks his head in Beez’s office to let them know he’s clocking out and hurries to his truck.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Ligur watches Crowley rush out of the garage. Shaking his head, he whispers, not wanting Beez to overhear him. “You caught that right?”</p><p>“Yeah.” Hastur huffs. “But it’s everywhere these days.”</p><p>“Never thought he was like that.” Ligur curls his lip.</p><p>Hastur shrugs. “Knew I didn’t like him much, anyway.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Aziraphale had wandered to the trailer earlier that morning and brought a few things to the house. He’s got the feeling he will be staying here often and he wants to be prepared. Along with his clothes and toiletries, Aziraphale retrieved food items from the trailer refrigerator. Crowley has been cooking for him everyday and Aziraphale wants to repay the favor tonight.</p><p>Just past eleven thirty, Aziraphale hears the pick-up making its way along the driveway. Locking the door behind him, Aziraphale rushes out to greet the gorgeous man who has, without realizing it, saved his life. Crowley has, in so many ways, made Aziraphale feel as if life is finally worth living.</p><p>“Hey Angel!” Crowley calls cheerfully, jumping down from the truck. He wraps long arms around Aziraphale’s waist and kisses him. “You look gorgeous.”</p><p>Aziraphale had decided that morning on a lavender button up and blue jeans. “Thank you, love. You’re quite dashing as well.”</p><p>Crowley laughs, looking down at his stained work uniform. “C’mon, lets get you a book and somethin’ to eat.”</p><p>Aziraphale gladly allows Crowley to help him up in the truck. The ride into town is as lovely as always. The sun is bright and the sky is clear, but none of that compares to the man steering to Aziraphale’s left. The blond lets his eyes drift about and take in all the beauty around him. Before he knows it, ten minutes have passed and they are standing outside the library, a large red brick building with a glass double door.</p><p>Crowley pulls out his cellphone. “While you look around, I’ll order us somethin’ from Kali’s. That way it’ll be ready when you’re done.”</p><p>“Oh, order me one of those pizza breads, with mushrooms.” Aziraphale has heard Crowley talk about them, and thinks they sound delicious.</p><p>“Got it.” Crowley waits outside the door to talk on his phone and Aziraphale enters the building. Inside the glass doors is a lobby, on the right are the doors to the restrooms, and the left is a glass case of artifacts from Oak Hill’s history. Beyond the case is another glass door which opens into a cozy library, not too big, not too small.</p><p>To his right, upon entering this second set of glass doors, is a desk in the shape of a half circle. Behind this desk is a slender woman, beautiful with dark hair and dark eyes. To her back is an office door.</p><p>Beyond the desk on the right are five bookshelves, filled with books, as is the wall behind the shelves. Directly ahead of him are eight more long, tall shelves of books, running perpendicular to the already mentioned shelves, and stretching to a back wall covered in windows. On Aziraphale’s left are eight computers and then six more rows of bookshelves running parallel to the first set of shelves and perpendicular to the second set mentioned. Past that is a reading area with four tables with six chairs at each.</p><p>Aziraphale’s attention is drawn to the desk and the Now Hiring sign setting atop it. He turns to address the young lady. “What are the libraries hours?”</p><p>She glances up from a green hardcovered book she’s reading. “Ten in the morning to seven at night Monday through Friday.”</p><p>“I’d like to inquire about the job. You see I’m new to town and I adore books.” This is perfect, the working hours are similar to Crowley’s, meaning he won’t need to set alone all day and fret.</p><p>“Sure, I need the help. I’ve been wanting to go to part-time, getting married soon. Since you’re the only person even interested in the past six months, you’re hired.” She holds out her hand to shake. “Anathema Device.”</p><p>“Aziraphale Fell.” He takes her hand, thrown by how easy it had been to obtain employment. “So, you’re the only person who works here?”</p><p>“Not anymore.” She points to the office behind her. “Come in the back, we’ll fill out the paperwork.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Bri had called as soon as Crowley had hung up from ordering the food. Every year he, Bri, Shane, Alexis, Mike, Andrew and Lisa get together in October and spend an entire weekend at King’s Island for their Halloweekends event. Bri is ordering the tickets and wanted to know if Aziraphale would be going with them. Crowley has always looked forward to that weekend every year and having Aziraphale with him will make it even better. Sharing a room at the hotel instead of being alone in a room like all the other years. The indoor water park, his Angel clinging to him as the ‘monsters’ pop out at the park. This’ll be the best year yet.</p><p>Crowley is ending this second call when Aziraphale steps out empty handed. “Nothing catch your attention?”</p><p>“Oh, something most definitely caught my attention.” Aziraphale smiles.</p><p>Crowley shakes his head. “Then why no book?”</p><p>His Angel waves his hand and giggles. “I’ll have plenty of time to read tomorrow when I start my shift.”</p><p>Crowley can feel his forehead scrunch in confusion. “You’ve lost me Angel.”</p><p>“I got a job, Anthony. At the library.” He points back towards the building. “I start in the morning. I need something to keep me occupied while you’re working, and our schedules will only have an hour’s difference.”</p><p>Aziraphale suddenly tenses and gets that fearful far-away look.</p><p>“Oh dear, I should’ve asked first. You don’t mind waiting after your shift to take me home?” He begins to wring his hands, body shifting in that nervous way Crowley hasn’t seen since the first day they met. “I just realized how terribly inconsiderate I am.”</p><p>Crowley’s heart aches at his Angel’s fretting. It’s apparent Aziraphale has been conditioned into asking permission before making decisions for himself. The last thing Crowley wants is for Aziraphale to feel like he has to live that way with him.</p><p>“I think it’s a wonderful idea. I’m really glad you thought of it.” Crowley kisses him softly and takes Aziraphale’s hands in an attempt to calm their shaking. “I was actually worried about you being alone in the middle of nowhere all day. You’ve eased my mind, Angel.”</p><p>Aziraphale beams, Crowley watches as the tension leaves those broad shoulders and soft face. Aziraphale hugs him tightly. “I’m so very happy, Anthony.”</p><p>“Good.” Crowley kisses his Angel’s head. “Let’s go eat. Don’t think the wonder twins’ll be real happy if I’m back late.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>That evening Crowley watches Aziraphale flit about excitedly, laying out what clothing he plans to wear the next day. The Angel’s eyes sparkle, his face flushed and giddy. <em>He’s beautiful.</em></p><p>“You know, I’ve never had a job before.” Aziraphale smooths his hands over turquoise button up. “This is all so exciting!”</p><p>Crowley loves seeing Aziraphale this happy. He decides in that moment that his new life goal is to make Aziraphale this happy always, to bring this much life and joy to his Angel everyday.</p><p>“You’ll do great.” Crowley smirks. “And I get to sleep with a sexy librarian. That’s pretty damn exciting too.”</p><p>“Oh, you!” Aziraphale playfully smacks Crowley’s arm, before finishing setting out the rest of the next day’s outfit.</p><p>“Hey.” Crowley starts. “First weekend of next month you wanna spend it in Cincinnati? There’s a big amusement park there called King’s Island and they are having their Halloweekends event. The cousins and me go in a big group, and I’d like it if you’d go with us.”</p><p>“Oh, I’d absolutely love to!” Aziraphale, dressed only in boxers and a t-shirt, lifts the blanket and cuddles against Crowley who is shirtless and in black sweatpants.</p><p><em>This is paradise.</em> Crowley has fully decided that Aziraphale is his forever. He’d never dreamed he would fall completely in love with someone this quickly. Crowley has never been one to pray, but in this moment he sends a silent thank you to Whoever is out there listening.</p><p>“Good, because it wouldn’t be as much fun without you.” Crowley kisses soft lips, allowing his hand to trail slowly down Aziraphale’s torso. Breathing against his lover’s mouth, Crowley asks. “This okay, Angel?”</p><p>“Yes. Keep going, Anthony.” Aziraphale’s voice is husky. “I’ll let you know if anything changes.”</p><p>Crowley slides Aziraphale’s boxers below his hips and disappears below the blanket. He hears his Angel’s moan when Crowley spit slicks his hand and begins stroking Aziraphale’s shaft.</p><p>“I love the sounds you make.” Crowley nuzzles Aziraphale’s cock with his nose. “Let’s see if I can get you to make more.”</p><p>Crowley starts with alternating between long slow licks from the top to bottom of Aziraphale’s hardening cock and gently scraping his teeth along the shaft. He can see Aziraphale’s breathing pick up, as his Angel’s body flushes.</p><p>Crowley then moves to the head of the shaft, playfully licking and kissing, sucking ever so gently on the tip. Basking in the beautiful mewling noises coming from above him. He licks the salty pre-come from the tip. “You taste so good, Angel”</p><p>Aziraphale’s breath staggers, and without warning Crowley surges down, deepthroating that beautiful cock. God, Aziraphale feels and tastes so good. Crowley’s eyes water at how deep into his throat he takes the Angel. Aziraphale cries out and grabs at Crowley’s hair, thrusting himself forward, even further down his lover’s throats. Crowley moans around Aziraphale’s dick and licks the base, as he hollows out his cheeks, sucking hard.</p><p>“O-oh, God! A-Anthony! Yes, yes, please d-don’t stop!”</p><p>Crowley most definitely doesn’t. He pulls back every few moments to get a breath and then dives in again, as hard and deep as he can. He can feel Aziraphale coming apart under his hands, as he runs them up and down those deliciously thick thighs.</p><p>“I’m coming! Oh-oh I’m coming!” And at that Crowley pushes Aziraphale’s dick as deep into his throat, as he is humanly able to get it. He can feel the warm rush, as Aziraphale’s spend hits. Crowley swallows it down, not wasting a drop all the while reveling in Aziraphale shaking and moaning above him.</p><p>Once his Angel is fully sated, Crowley brings himself back up the bed to lay back on the pillows. He opens his arms, inviting Aziraphale to lay against his chest. “Come here, Angel.”</p><p>The blond responds, allowing himself to be wrapped in the embrace. “What about you, Anthony?”</p><p>“Tonight’s not about me Aziraphale. Tonight is about you and your new job.” Crowley kisses his Angel’s forehead. “That was your congratulations present from me.”</p><p>They lay together in each other’s arms, safe and content. Crowley running his fingers along Aziraphale’s arm. “I’m proud of you Angel, really impressed at how you’re finding yourself and not letting fear stop you. You’re braver than you give yourself credit for.”</p><p>He means it, every word of it, and he knows Aziraphale needs to hear it.</p><p>“Thank you, dearest.” Aziraphale snuggles against him even closer, the two of the holding one another tight. “Goodnight, my dear. I love you.”</p><p>“Night Angel love you too.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Broken Hallelujah</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Ligur almost ruins everything.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The title is a line from the Leonard Cohen song Hallelujah.</p><p>The actual <strong>Drinx </strong>Is in Vinton, Ohio. Not sure what alcoholic beverages they actually serve since I’m not a drinker, so I took privileges there too. </p><p>Hope you all enjoy! Thank you all for hanging in there with me. You all are the absolute best! ❤️💚</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next eleven days feel like a dream for Aziraphale, as he’d never before realized life could be this perfect. He’s in love, and he is loved, by the sexiest, most gentle man he's ever known. Not to say there aren’t fleeting moments he fears he may wake up and it will all be gone.</p><p>Each morning Crowley drives the two of them into town. The library is only a ten minute walk from the autobody shop, so Aziraphale sits in the <strong>Beez Mechanical</strong> lobby reading, until it is time to walk to work. Hastur and Ligur are quite rude, but Beez seems to like Aziraphale. They greet him pleasantly each morning, engaging him in short chat before wandering into their office. Crowley tells Aziraphale that this is proof of how special he is, Beez is never that friendly with anyone.</p><p>Crowley spends his lunch breaks at the library, delivering whatever food item Aziraphale requested that morning.</p><p><em>He is just too kind to me. He'll ever admit it, but he is.</em> Aziraphale thinks, as he sets back and observes Crowley during one of these luncheons, taking in his bright hair, exotic eyes and carved features. Aziraphale thinks Crowley to be the most perfect work of art he has ever seen. <em>Does he have any idea, how beautiful he really is?</em></p><p>After his shift, Crowley hangs out on one of the library computers, looking for books to replace Aziraphale's lost collection. The problem with rare books, however, is they are nearly impossible to find. Crowley seems to take it as a personal failure when he comes up empty handed, but just putting in that kind of effort makes Aziraphale adore him all the more.</p><p>Evenings are spent at home, Crowley insists on making dinner, he claims to have loved Aziraphale's cooking but his reasoning is. "I enjoy taking care of you Angel."</p><p>They watch tv and eventually fall asleep in each other's arms. Most nights involve lovemaking and peaceful sleeping. Unfortunately there are two nights Aziraphale wakes crying, reaching for Crowley. Those nights the fear drowns his happiness, and he worries he is setting Crowley up for pain. He fears what would happen to the beautiful red head if Gabriel were to appear on their doorstep.</p><p>It was on the second of these nights that Crowley brings Aziraphale's attention to the large safe in the corner of the bedroom.</p><p>"This is my insurance, in case things would go pear shaped." Crowley opens the safe to reveal a hunting rifle and a .40 caliber Smith &amp; Wesson. "The combination is 4-0-0-4, if you ever need in here."</p><p>Aziraphale feels his breath catch. He's not exactly had the best experience with guns up to this point in his life, but he trusts Crowley, and if it will protect them there are no better hands for them to be in. He responds timidly. "Oh, I've never shot a gun before. Best if I leave that to you."</p><p>"I can teach you, if you like." Crowley watches Aziraphale.</p><p><em>He's worried that he's frightened me.</em> Aziraphale realizes. "I'd rather not." He smiles at Crowley reassuringly. "I have you to protect me, after all." He pats the bed. "Lock that thing and come back to bed."</p><p>"Will do, Angel."</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>On Saturday, two weeks after Aziraphale's arrival in Oak Hill, he and Crowley wake up, preparing for a long day of festivities. The Apple Festival has been in full swing since the previous Wednesday, but today is the last and biggest day of the event. They will be riding to Jackson in the Bentley, as it is to be featured in a vintage car show amongst many other rebuilt beauties. After which, Sal will pick them both up and take them to the Jackson High School Football stadium for the Jackson Apple Festival Marching band show to watch young Harry's performance. Then the remainder of the day will be enjoying the festival, until the parade that night, in which young Harry will march once again.</p><p>The weather is hot, and the sun is out. Aziraphale rarely wears anything that shows his legs, but decides today he wants to be comfortable. He's dressed in a teal t-shirt, and beige khaki shorts. Crowley looks absolutely stunning leaning against the Bentley, his red hair pulled back in a messy bun, tight black Queen t-shirt, black skinny jeans, and his boots. How he isn't sweltering in this weather, Aziraphale has no clue, but Crowley always does seem to run a bit cooler than everyone else.</p><p>As people come to ask about the Bentley, Crowley greets them amiably, answering whatever questions they may have. Each time someone approaches that Crowley knows personally, he proudly introduces them to Aziraphale, who can't help but feel pleased with this sort of adulation. Crowley is proud to be with him. No one has ever expressed feelings of pride towards Aziraphale until now, and honestly he is reveling in it.</p><p>Four hours later, as the cars are all being driven away, Crowley moves the Bentley to a back corner of a shopping center, a few blocks from the festival. They'll have quite a walk that evening, but the car will be safe. Sal meets them here and drives them to Jackson High School. The performances are actually very entertaining for high school level. Each band has a theme as part of their performance, Oak Hill's is music from a very popular circus musical, which had been a hit in theatres the year before.</p><p>Once back at the festival, the day continues it's trajectory of passing quite enjoyably. Aziraphale loves the quaint atmosphere of the Apple festival, although the amusement rides give him pause. They seem old, rickety, and put together much too quickly. Crowley is able to get him to go on a few of them, with a great deal of coaxing. Aziraphale has to admit, the ferris wheel is rather romantic. Stopped at the top, he is able to see most of the city.</p><p>"Ya know, there's a ghost story involving the water tower." Crowley points towards the large structure, made to look like a giant apple. "They say late at night, the ghost of a woman walks below the tower, crying out for a child she lost."</p><p>"Oh how terribly sad." Aziraphale scoots closer to Crowley, long arms wrapping around his shoulders.</p><p>"I don't remember the whole story about it, just remember that part." Crowley turns and kisses him as the wheel begins to move them downward.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>By the time evening comes, and the parade is almost to begin, Crowley is beaming. He has watched his Angel's eyes light up at the woman from the Columbus Zoo who let him pet some of the exotic animals. He blushes each time Aziraphale moans in delight at all the little treats Crowley buys him.</p><p>"I hadn't realized until today how many ways apples could be eaten." Aziraphale gushes.</p><p>Crowley loves to watch his Angel indulge himself. <em>You deserve this, Aziraphale. To have what you want, when you want it.</em> Crowley thinks, hoping one day, Aziraphale will think it too.</p><p>The festival ends with the parade, it's your typical small town affair. Marching bands, princess floats, beauty queens, scout groups, candy being thrown from fire tucks and small town politicians running for local office. When a line of vintage cars drive by, Aziraphale gives Crowley a questioning look in response to which Crowley shrugs. "Wanted to see Harry march."</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>By 9:00PM the festival has wound down and workers are taking apart the amusements to move to the next town. Aziraphale and Crowley tell Sal goodbye as they wander off to locate both their sons.</p><p>"Would you join me for a drink?" Crowley asks, bringing his arm around Aziraphale's waist.</p><p>"I'd be delighted." Aziraphale lays his head on Crowley's shoulder.</p><p>Crowley leads them both through the streets of town, past closed shops following a small crowd headed in the same direction. They find their way to a small establishment still bustling with life. Crowley holds the door and watches Aziraphale walk inside, enjoying the view. Sun kissed and smiling, Aziraphale is gorgeous. Crowley lays a hand on the small of his back and leads him inside.</p><p><strong>Drinx</strong> is beautifully designed, with hardwood floors, clean white walls, a shiny bar along the right wall, jukebox in the left back corner near the restrooms, a dining area and past that an indoor patio with a dance floor. Crowley leads his Angel to a booth in the back. The seat is a semi-circle, allowing them to set snuggled together while watching everyone else in the bar.</p><p>A stunning brunette approaches the table, offering them each a menu. She smiles, one eyebrow raising in question. "Evening, Crowley. Who's your friend?"</p><p>"Aziraphale." He says before Crowley can respond, offering the woman his hand.</p><p>"Rachel Perkins. Pleasure to meet you." Her smile is bright and lovely.</p><p>Crowley chimes in, "Rachel went to high school with me, she and her husband own the bar." He turns to address Rachel, with a look of pride. "Aziraphale and I have been an official couple for a little over a week now."</p><p>"Nice catch." Rachel eyes Aziraphale giving him a wink, causing him to blush. "What would you boys like to eat?"</p><p>"I'm actually still full from the festival, perhaps just a drink? Do you carry any wine? A nice red perhaps?" Crowley sees Aziraphale look at him, almost as if he is asking approval for his question.</p><p>"Nothing expensive. We get our wines from a local winery. But we do have reds." Rachel waits.</p><p>"Then bring him your finest." Crowley tells her, attempting to sound grand. Rachel laughs, Aziraphale gives a gentle smile.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Four glasses in Aziraphale is feeling tipsy, and rather bold. He snuggles close to Crowley, eyes lingering on the dance floor.</p><p>"You wanna dance, Angel?" Crowley whispers in his ear. The sensation sends a shiver of excitement through Aziraphale.</p><p>"I've never danced with anyone before, not entirely sure I'd know what to do." He thinks a moment. "Well I did learn the gavotte when I was young, but I'm certain that wouldn't apply here."</p><p>"Dunno, gavottes kinda like a line dance isn't it?" Crowley points to the line of people dancing to a Travis Tritt song.</p><p>Aziraphale laughs. "Ok, sounds like fun." As he slides out of the booth he spots Ligur alone at the bar. "Oh look, it's that fellow from your work."</p><p>"Sure is." Crowley eyes Ligur warily following Aziraphale.</p><p>"Should we say hello?" Aziraphale feels giddy from drink. Sure Ligur isn't the friendliest, but that doesn't mean he and Crowley shouldn't be.</p><p>"I'd avoid him outside of the shop, Angel." Crowley wraps his arms around Aziraphale protectively. "He isn't a very nice person when our boss isn't around."</p><p>"He's not very nice when they are around." Aziraphale says looking up at Crowley.</p><p>The red head smiles and kisses him on the nose. "Well he is even worse when they're not."</p><p>Aziraphale nods and bounces off to the dance floor. The tempo is upbeat, and Aziraphale laughs delightedly as he tries to keep up with the other dancers. He glances at Crowley who is watching him fondly, from the side of the room. Aziraphale's heart swells.<em> I love the way he looks at me.</em></p><p>After the third upbeat song, the tempo slows and the lights dim. Crowley steps out to Aziraphale and offers his hand. "May I?"</p><p><em>He calls me Angel. Like I'm something sacred.</em> Aziraphale nods allowing Crowley to pull him close, encircling him with thin strong arms. Aziraphale places his own hands at the back of Crowley's neck, twisting his fingers in flaming hair. Aziraphale does feel sacred, protected, as they sway together in the low lights, staring into each others eyes and forgetting that a world exists around them.</p><p>"Thank you Aziraphale." Crowley kisses him.</p><p>When the kiss ends, Aziraphale lays his head on Crowley's shoulder. "For what dear?"</p><p>Crowley's soft lips placing gentle kisses into Aziraphale's hair at the end of each sentence. "For staying. For choosing me. For making me this happy. For just being you."</p><p>Aziraphale sighs contentedly. "Thank you, Anthony for accepting me as I am."</p><p>"Always Angel."</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Eventually the warmth of Crowley's body combined with being wine and love drunk, have Aziraphale feeling blessedly exhausted. Crowley must notice because he hugs the shorter man closer to himself and whispers, "Let me pay the tab and take you home."</p><p>"Sounds good. I'm going to visit the restroom then I'll meet you outside." He places a gentle peck to Crowley's lips.</p><p>Aziraphale totters to the restroom and does what he needs to do. As he washes his hands he looks over his reflection and, for the first time in a long time, isn't repulsed by what he sees. His eyes are bright, face is flushed, it's almost like he's glowing.</p><p><em>I am rather handsome.</em> He realizes and smiles.</p><p>Turning to exit, he's surprised by Ligur blocking the doorway. "Oh my!"Aziraphale laughs nervously, raising his hand to his chest. "You certainly startled me. I didn't hear you come in."</p><p>Ligur doesn't move, his cold stare trained on Aziraphale. He's obviously very drunk and upset. "You're disgusting, flaunting around like you do."</p><p>"I'm not sure I know what you mean." Aziraphale doesn't like the look in Ligur's eyes. It's a look he is far too familiar with. "I'm very sorry if I have somehow offended you. Would you please let me pass?"</p><p>Aziraphale needs out of here now. He tries to push past Ligur, who grabs his arm and twists it roughly behind his back.</p><p>"Oh I think you know exactly what you're doing, and no one wants to see that shit." Ligur's face is so close, Aziraphale can smell the booze on his breath.</p><p>Aziraphale is in tears, pleading. "Please let me go."</p><p>
  <em>Oh God, oh God, oh God.</em>
</p><p>"I will once you've learned your place."</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Crowley is standing outside the bar waiting, when Rachel comes surging out the door breathless. "You're needed inside. But I need you to keep your cool."</p><p>Crowley's blood freezes in his veins."What happened Rachel?"</p><p>She shakes her head and motions for him to follow. Rushing back to the dining area, he's faced with his Angel, seated in the corner, face bruised, and battered, busted lip and a sizable knot on the side of his head. Crowley's heart shatters. <em>His face just healed from Gabriel.</em> "Who the fuck did this?"</p><p>Aziraphale startles and glances over to him. "Anthony?"</p><p><em>He's crying. Oh fuck. I'll beat the ever lovin' shit out of the son of a bitch.</em> Crowley strides quickly to Aziraphale dropping to his knees beside him. "What happened, Angel?"</p><p>"Ligur. Said we're disgusting." He wheezes. "That I'm too flambouyant." Aziraphale grits his teeth. "That I needed to learn my place." His Angel begins to sob. Crowley kisses his hands, afraid to hug him, he doesn’t know the full extent of the injuries.</p><p>Rachel steps up beside Crowley. "We've called the police and the EMS."</p><p>On the verge of tears himself, Crowley stands to hiss in her ear. "Where's Ligur?"</p><p>Rachel places a hand on his arm. She repeats her earlier statement. "The police have been called." Rachel looks Crowley in the eyes. "I'm sorry, but you can't go off the handle and get yourself into trouble too."</p><p>Tears begin to stream down Crowley's face. He gestures towards Aziraphale slumped forward in his chair eyes dead and staring off into nothing. "You have no idea what he's been through already. What this is going to do to him."</p><p>The terrifying thought rips through Crowley's chest, making it very hard to breathe.</p><p>Rachel sighs. "Then be with him right now, he needs you. The police will deal with Ligur."</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The EMT'S deem that aside from a concussion and bruising, Aziraphale has no major injuries. They do tell Crowley to check on Aziraphale every two hours during the night due to the head injury, just to be safe. Once they have gone, Crowley leaves Aziraphale with Rachel while he walks the ten minutes to where he parked the Bentley.</p><p>Twenty minutes later he is driving the both of them home.</p><p>"What is it about me, Anthony?" Blue eyes glisten with tears. "It almost feels like I deserve it."</p><p>Crowley hates the world, the cruelty of people. Hates how it seems like everyone is out to take from him the most beautiful gift he's ever been given. "There's nothing wrong with you, Aziraphale. It's the world that's broken."</p><p>"It doesn't feel that way." When Crowley glances at him, Aziraphale is curled in on himself. Hugging his stomach the way he did that day in the forest.</p><p>They drive the rest of the way home in almost silence, the only sounds are Aziraphale's sobs. Once the Bentley is returned to the garage, Crowley quickly jumps out hurrying to Aziraphale's side. He opens the door helping his Angel out, carefully leading him into the house and to the bed.</p><p>"Do you need help getting undressed?" Crowley isn't sure where Aziraphale is emotionally right now. He's careful of boundaries.</p><p>Aziraphale nods, and Crowley carefully gets him down to his boxers. Pulling back the covers, he helps his Angel settle into bed. Aziraphale watches Crowley as he removes his own jeans and t-shirt. "Do you need me to bring you anything before I lay down Angel?"</p><p>"I'm a mistake, Anthony." Aziraphale's eyes are vacant, his face twisted in grief. "I wish I'd never been born."</p><p>"No, no, no, no." Crowley shakes his head and quickly slides himself beneath the blankets. "Don't. Please don't do that to yourself." He reaches to hold Aziraphale, who recoils from the touch.</p><p><em>Please no.</em> Crowley feels his stomach clench</p><p>“My entire life has been nothing but pain. I cause it, and it follows me.” Huge watery blue eyes watch Crowley from the other side of the bed. It feels like a chasm is opening between them. “You’re the only person blind enough to want me. Everyone else can obviously see what I truly am.” Aziraphale shifts further away in the bed. “I’ll end up hurting you too. Just give it time Anthony.”</p><p>“Only if you leave me.” Crowley wants so badly to touch him. <em>Please Angel don’t go.</em></p><p>“What?” Aziraphale looks at him confused.</p><p>“That’s the only way you can truly hurt me, Angel. Nothing else matters now, if I don’t have you.” <em>Please don’t take this away from me.</em> “You don’t deserve pain, Aziraphale. You’re brilliant, like the sun. But dark people can’t stand it. They want to snuff out that much light. Please don’t let them.”</p><p>He moves closer to his Angel, and Aziraphale doesn’t pull away this time. “This is my fault. I promised to protect you and I failed tonight.” His voice sounds desperate and he knows it. “I’ll do better. I swear. Please don’t pull away from me again.”</p><p>Aziraphale watches Crowley for several moments with an unreadable look in his eyes. “I don’t know Anthony. I’m not sure what I want right now.”</p><p>Crowley feels his breath catch, this isn’t good and he knows it. He wants to cry, to beg, but he never wants to make Aziraphale feel pressured. So instead he sighs. “Okay, Angel, I’ll leave, but at least stay here tonight so I know you’re safe.” He stands up. “Concussion and all.” Crowley pulls on his sweatpants. “I’ll sleep on the couch, you keep the bed. But can I come in every so often and check on you like the paramedic said to do?”</p><p>Aziraphale nods, expression vacant and cold. Crowley feels something deep in his soul begin to shatter, his eyes burning with unshed tears. He turns before his Angel can see the pools in his eyes. “Call for me if you need me. Get some rest.” His throat feels constricted.</p><p>Crowley steps out of the room slowly.<em> Please call me back Angel. Tell me you still want me.</em> But Aziraphale doesn’t say a word. He quietly closes the door behind him, making his way to the couch before he breaks completely. Tears falling unrestrained as he sobs.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Uriel Blaze had been in some trouble years ago for white collar crimes involving computer and system hacking. She has earned her freedom by working personally with Michael Bright as an informant.</p><p>Michael contacted Uriel to assist her in dismantling Gabriel’s growing frustration. It has barely been more than a week and he is already pushing for results. Recruiting Uriel brought them to the lead they needed.</p><p>Apparently Aziraphale had opened a banking account and acquired a debit card. Since Michael has no legal reasons to request this information, that task fell fully upon Uriel, who was able to provide them with a transaction history on the card.</p><p>Michael holds the report in her hand as she picks up her cellphone and taps on Gabriel’s contact.</p><p>“You better have something worthwhile.” Gabriel’s voice is stressed and angry.</p><p>“Yes sir. Your boy opened a checking account. Holding the transaction history from the accounts debit card. She keeps her voice steady. “Most recent transaction was four days ago, place called Jackson, Ohio.”</p><p>“Ohio?” Gabriel’s voice has lost some of its edge. “Thank you, Michael. You prepared for a road trip?”</p><p>“Whatever you need sir. When will we be leaving?” Michael is relieved at the praise.</p><p>“Meet me in the morning. Bring Uriel. I need to get one of my own men up to speed.” Gabriel actually sounds pleased.</p><p>“Yes, sir.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Bad Liar</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The title is the title of an Imagine Dragons song.<br/>Things are starting to amp up. I’ll be switching points of view throughout the chapter<br/>to show different things happening at the same time in different locations. Hope I pull<br/>it off okay.<br/>Our boys don’t stay apart long. They love each other too much to really keep the other<br/>away.<br/>There is another dream sequence fueled by Aziraphale’s guilt.<br/>Hope you enjoy &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hastur is woke out of a NyQuil induced sleep by his phone ringing. He’d not felt well that day and had skipped out on going to the bar with his best friend. He curses as he fumbles for the phone on his bedside table, the clock reading 1:36AM. "Who the fuck?"</p><p>Grabbing the phone, he doesn’t recognize the number. For a moment he considers silencing the damn thing, but instead swipes to answer.</p><p>“M’not interested in whatever you’re selling. Take me off your list.” His voice is groggy and pissed off.</p><p>“Not selling anything.” Ligur grumbles over the line. “Need you to come get me out of jail.”</p><p>“Da fuck you do?” Hastur sits up in bed, attempting to get his wits about him.</p><p>“Nothin’. Was having a drink and Crowley was there with his tart.” Ligur spits. “Got sick of watchin’ their lil show. So when Crowley went outside, I helped his dumb bitch remember his place.”</p><p><em>Crowley.</em> That piece of shit has always been a useless pain in the ass. “Where they holdin’ you?”</p><p>“Jackson County Jail.” Ligur sounds tired and still very drunk. “Look man, I’ll pay you back. Promise.”</p><p>“Don’t worry ‘bout it. I’ll be there in a bit.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Crowley doesn’t sleep that night. He’s cried until his head hurts, until his eyes are dry and irritated. The ache in his chest is nearly unbearable. He hasn’t felt this lost and alone since his grandpa died and somehow this pain is even worse.</p><p><em>I should’ve been there.</em> Crowley feels like he’s dying. He’d made a promise, and hadn’t kept it. Told Aziraphale he would never let anyone hurt him nd now he is going to lose the man he loves because he hadn’t been there when his Angel needed him.</p><p>Crowley stares at the ceiling listening to the house settle. In the distance he can hear coyotes howl from behind the house. Then a whimper, soft at first, slowly growing into a sob. He sets up on the couch, not sure what to do. If this were any other night, he would be with Aziraphale, holding him until the images in his Angel’s head receded. But tonight, he’s not welcome, Aziraphale has told him as much. So he waits with the most agonizing pain in his chest.</p><p>
  <em>I failed him, and in the morning he’ll leave me.</em>
</p><p>No, Crowley doesn’t sleep at all that night.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Hastur is livid standing in the bright lights of the jail’s lobby. “Da fuck you mean I can’t post bail?”</p><p>“I’m sorry sir, his bail, if he’s granted any, won’t be determined until he sees a judge on Monday.” The Deputy Sheriff states in that condescendingly professional way cops do when they’re trying to stay calm.</p><p>“Can you at least let him know I was here, and why he has to wait?” Hastur growls through clenched teeth.</p><p>“Certainly sir.” The Deputy smiles. As Hastur turns to walk away he hears. “Have a good night.”</p><p>Fuck the cops. Fuck Crowley, and fuck his blond bitch.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Aziraphale is standing in Crowley’s living room, with no idea of how he got there. “Anthony?”</p><p>“Right here.” The voice isn’t Crowley’s. Aziraphale turns towards the archway to see Crowley with a large kitchen knife to his lean neck, and Ligur pressed against his back.</p><p>Aziraphale can’t breathe, Crowley’s golden eyes are wide with fear. “Please, please don’t hurt him.”</p><p>“Or what sunshine?” Comes Gabriel’s voice from the kitchen doorway.</p><p>Aziraphale turns his body 90 degrees so that his back is to none of them. “Don’t do this, please.” He looks to Gabriel. “I’ll do anything just let Anthony go.”</p><p>“Don’t think we can do that, sweetheart.” Ligur’s voice is mocking as he slides the knife across Crowley’s throat.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Aziraphale bolts up in the bed screaming. It’s morning. Within seconds Crowley is in the room. His beautiful eyes bloodshot and frightened, his red hair a wild mess.</p><p>“You okay, Angel?”</p><p>“No, Anthony. I am not okay.” The words come out angry and he wants to cry again. “I will most likely never be okay again.”</p><p>“What can I do?” Crowley stands beside the bed, his handsome features look haggard. His voice so gentle.</p><p>“What can you do?” Aziraphale feels almost frantic. He can’t handle the conflicting emotions of wanting Crowley with him and of wanting Crowley safe. “You can leave me alone.”</p><p>
  <em>I need you far away from me, far from any danger I might bring.</em>
</p><p>Crowley looks stunned. “What?”</p><p>“This was a mistake, Anthony. All of it.” Aziraphale is crying. <em>That’s all I seem to do anymore is cry.</em></p><p>“But you love me.” Crowley’s sounds so gentle, his expression desperate.</p><p>Aziraphale looks at Crowley pleadingly. “I do love you Anthony. So very much. And that’s exactly why I can’t be with you. Why won’t you understand? I’m weak. I won’t be able to protect you.”</p><p>Crowley’s expression is heartbreaking. “Look Angel. I won’t push you. I’ll never push you. But as long as you want me I’ll never give up on you either.” Aziraphale starts to argue and Crowley shakes his head. “I’m going to leave so you can get dressed. Whatever you decide I’ll support you. But please don’t throw this away. Not when we’re so good together.”</p><p>Crowley opens his dresser drawer and grabs a shirt before leaving the room. Aziraphale watches him close the door and drops his head in his hands. <em>Why is he making this so damn hard?</em></p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Gabriel represented Sandalphon Gold two years ago. The man is a document forger, but through a technicality (and a few we’ll placed bribes) Gabriel was able to get him acquitted. Both men now sit in the living room of Gabriel’s high rise apartment, as Michael and Uriel enter. After the women set, Gabriel lays out the plan.</p><p>“I’ve come to the conclusion that all four of us traveling together would be too conspicuous. So Michael and I will be making the trip.” He watches as Michael nods in consent then turns to Sandalphon. “You will forge me and Michael fake credentials to travel under, ensuring our real names can’t be associated with this endeavor.”</p><p>Addressing Uriel. “Uriel will stay here also and keep me updated on when and where Aziraphale spends anymore of my money.”</p><p>Michael adds. “There’s a small airport in Jackson, which caters to private aircraft. We can take a private jet once everything is together.”</p><p>“Sandalphon.” Gabriel addresses the stout man again. “When can you have our paperwork ready?”</p><p>“Just give me two hours sir.” He flashes Gabriel a gold smile.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>As Aziraphale emerges from the bedroom, he realizes Crowley is speaking with someone on the phone.</p><p>“Yeah, Beez I know. Look I’m really sorry, but I think it be worse for everyone if I came in.” Aziraphale slowly peeks around the archway. He sees Crowley running his hands through his hair with his free hand. “No, I don’t want to quit, but honestly that would be the best option for you and me.” Crowley pauses. “Well, yeah, isn’t it better you lose one guy than two, or have an incident in the shop?” He pinches the bridge of his nose. “Thank you, Beez. No hard feelings I hope.” Crowley nods. “You’re the best. Good luck to you too. Okay, yeah, bye.” Crowley hangs up, shoulders slumped in defeat.</p><p>“You quit?” Aziraphale asks, astonished.</p><p>“Had to Angel.” Crowley looks up at him exhausted. “I can’t go in there and make a scene with Ligur. Hastur’ll have his back and I can’t risk that sort of drama for Beez. They don’t deserve the headache.”</p><p>“Oh, Anthony, I’m so sorry.”<em> I’ve already upturned his life, and now I’m considering walking away.</em></p><p>“S’alright, Aziraphale. There’s a few others places that’ll hire me.” Crowley waves his hand dismissively. “Shouldn’t be too hard to get another job.”</p><p>They stand in awkward silence for several moments, before Aziraphale finally speaks. "I've had another nightmare last night. Similar to the one I had the first night I stayed."</p><p>Crowley watches him expectantly until Aziraphale continues. "Both nights I dreamt you were murdered." He takes a deep breathe and begins walking towards Crowley. "Murdered because <em>of me.</em>" His voice raises in pitch as he stresses the last word. "I don't want you to die, Anthony, but I also don't want to keep hurting you." Aziraphale takes Crowley's hands. "I do love you dear, I don't want to break your heart and I don't want to desert you, especially now." <em>Why am I always crying? </em>Tears wet Aziraphale's face again. "So how do I reconcile these two fears?"</p><p>Crowley steps forward, pressing their foreheads together. "You tell your story, Angel. To Andrew, officially."</p><p>Aziraphale feels his stomach clench. "I don't know."</p><p>Crowley kisses his nose. "This time will be different. The law here isn't under Gabriel's thumb. We'll have protection." He brings his hands to Aziraphale's face. "And if that bastard does turn up here, Andrew puts his ass in prison, and you get to live happily ever after."</p><p>Aziraphale wants to believe it so very badly. "Are you sure?"</p><p>"I know I let you down last night, and I'm so, so sorry." Crowley's eyes are wide and pleading. "But can you trust me with this, Angel?"</p><p>"Yes." The word is a breath, as Aziraphale moves forward, pressing his lips to Crowley's . He wraps his arms around the thin waist, pulling their bodies close together.</p><p>The kiss breaks momentarily, as they fall onto the sofa, Crowley beneath him. "I'm so sorry, Anthony. Please forgive me."</p><p>"Already forgiven. C'mere." Crowley places a hand tenderly to the back of Aziraphale's head, and pulls him into a hungry kiss.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Andrew agrees to meet with Aziraphale at Crowley's house. The setting is less upsetting than the harsh bustle of the police station.</p><p>Crowley has a comforting arm around Aziraphale's back as they sit side by side on the sofa. Andrew listens as the blond carefully tells his story, writing down the details of what he hears. When Aziraphale finally finishes, Andrew leans back on the love seat and sighs. "At this time there isn't much I can do to arrest Gabriel, since all evidence of the crime is gone."</p><p>Crowley sees the look of devastation cross his Angel's face. Andrew notices too, and continues. "But that doesn't mean we can't protect you." The officer nods reassuringly. "I'll let my supervisor know of the situation, and I or another officer will stay in close proximity to your area at all times. Make it so there will never be more than a five minute response time."</p><p>Aziraphale looks up voicing his biggest fear. "What about Anthony?"</p><p>"What about me, Angel?" Crowley squeezes Aziraphale's leg with his free hand.</p><p>"Will you be able to respond just as quickly if he needs you as well?" Blue eyes wide, looking at Andrew.</p><p>"I will, Aziraphale. I'll make sure you are both protected." Andrew gestures towards Aziraphale's phone on the windowsill. "Put me as a contact in your cellphone. Even when I'm not on duty, I'll make sure someone responds ASAP when you call. Hell, I'll even report myself, while off duty. You're family Aziraphale, I won't desert you."</p><p>Crowley kisses Aziraphale's cheek softly, careful of the still present bruise. "Told you, Angel. We're gonna be alright."</p><p>Aziraphale smiles, really smiles for the first time that day. "Yes. I actually believe we will."</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Michael and Gabriel arrive in Jackson around 9:30PM Sunday night. Uriel reserved them a room at the one hotel in this ridiculous hick town. Gabriel stares in disdain out the car window. The only car rental place in this God forsaken place said the best car they could give him was a Honda Civic. Most definitely not Gabriel's style, but Michael said it wouldn't draw attention like his Rolls Royce.</p><p>"It's a small Podunk town. They would take notice of anything too nice." Michael has always been extremely logical. His trust in her common sense is the only reason Gabriel is willing to ride in this monstrosity.</p><p>They park in the hotel lot and walk inside. The place is clean, but well below Gabriel's standards. His skin crawls at this whole ordeal. The town, the car, the city in general, every bit of it disgusting. Of course Aziraphale would choose a place like this to stay. Gabriel had decided long ago, the soft little twit didn't deserve the money he had been given. It was much more deserved by someone like himself, someone of better quality and finer tastes. Someone who knew how to properly use it.</p><p>After checking in under their aliases they walk to their room, a small space with two twin beds. They had agreed that tomorrow they will start the search, using whatever story they need with the locals. Gabriel will retrieve what is rightfully his and return to where he belongs. He looks to Michael. "I'm going to bed. I expect us to make as quick work of this as possible. I don't want to stay in this slum any longer than needed."</p><p>She purses her lips. "As soon as we locate him, it should take no more than 24 hours." The moment the words leave her mouth, her cellphone chimes. She smiles while looking at it and hands the phone to Gabriel.</p><p><strong>Uriel:</strong> <em> Target has been located. Employment records show he has a job next town over. Oak Hill, at the public library.</em></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. A Man Who Was Gonna Die Young</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The title of this chapter is the title of an Eric Church song.</p><p>Things are about to get crazy friends. Hang in for the ride, we’re approaching the finish line and things will get rough before they get better.</p><p>Hope you all enjoy!❤️💚</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aziraphale wakes on Monday morning to his cellphone alarm and Crowley’s arms wrapped around him. The lovely, lean body is pressed firmly against Aziraphale’s back. Aziraphale squirms just enough to shut off the alarm, then rolls himself over to gaze at Crowley’s still sleeping face.</p><p><em>I nearly made the worst mistake of my life yesterday.</em> Crowley had so easily forgiven Aziraphale for almost rejecting him. Forgiving and accepting Aziraphale is all Crowley’s done since the first day they met. <em>I don’t deserve him.My God, you’re beautiful.</em></p><p>Crowley opens his eyes slowly, adjusting to the sunlight. His scans Aziraphale's still bruised face. “You sure you’re feeling well enough to go?”</p><p>“Feel right as rain, darling.” He kisses Crowley again. “Besides, one of us needs to be bringing in some money until you get back on your feet financially.”</p><p>Crowley looks like Aziraphale’s just slapped him in the face. “I’m sorry Angel.” He shakes the last of his sleepiness away. “I don’t intend for you to support me. I’ll have a job by the end of the week.” He gently traces a finger along Aziraphale’s face. “This isn’t your burden to bear love.”</p><p>“Nonsense.” Aziraphale tuts. “If you are to bear my burdens, then I am most certainly to bear yours.” He sits up in bed and slings his legs over the side. “Now get up, I need a ride to work.”</p><p>Aziraphale walks to the closet and gathers a blue and gray tartan button up shirt and beige trousers. With clothes in hand he heads off to the shower.</p><p>“You’re amazing, Aziraphale.” Crowley says fondly as he also rises from bed.</p><p>“Only to you love.” Aziraphale calls, as he closes the bathroom door.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Michael and Gabriel sit in the blue Civic on the pharmacy parking lot. From this position they can easily see the front entrance of the library, but are far enough away to remain unnoticed.</p><p>At 9:45AM they watch a red Dodge Ram park in front of the building. Out of the driver’s side steps a tall, extremely attractive, red head. The man circles to the passenger’s side door and offers his hand to its occupant. Gabriel feels the clench of rage in his gut, as he watches his property holding hands and staring affectionately at this other man.</p><p>“Who the fuck is that?” Gabriel growls.</p><p>Before Michael can speak her phone chimes with a text from Uriel.</p><p>Seems Aziraphale was in an altercation two nights ago with a man named Frank Ligur. Mr. Ligur is currently being held in the Jackson County Jail.</p><p>“We’ll find out sir, but it looks as if we may have found some local help in this matter.” She shows the message to Gabriel.</p><p>“Then take me back to Jackson.” He hands the phone to Michael. “Maybe we can have this Ligur get Red there out of the way.” Gabriel watches as the slender man and Aziraphale kiss. “I need to get that bitch home and back in line. He’s obviously forgotten who he belongs to.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Gabriel steps into the lobby of the jailhouse to see a grungy blond man yelling at a Deputy Sheriff. “This is bullshit! There are worse people out there, and the judge denies him bail?!”</p><p>The Deputy steps forward. “Sir, if you don’t calm down, I’ll need to place you under arrest.”</p><p>“Ligur doesn’t deserve this shit. The problem with the world today is fuckheads like you and that judge!”</p><p><em>Ligur</em>. Gabriel steps forward as the deputy reaches for his cuffs. “No need for that officer, I’ll handle this.” He flashes his bar card to the Deputy and takes the blond man by the arm.</p><p>“Get your hands off me asshole!” The man tries to jerk away.</p><p>Gabriel holds tight and whispers in his ear. “I’m here to remove a man named Aziraphale.”</p><p>The man stops struggling. “What d’ya mean, remove?”</p><p>“Let’s just say, you and your friend Ligur won’t need to worry about him ever again.” Gabriel knows he has the man’s attention now. “And I’ll make sure your buddy beats his case.”</p><p>Once outside the blond offers his hand. “Randy Hastur. But call me Hastur. You can really get Ligur cleared?”</p><p>“I can.” Gabriel nods. <em>This idiots too easy.</em></p><p>“What do ya need from me?”</p><p>Gabriel leads Hastur towards the car, where Michael is waiting behind the wheel. “First off, who’s the red head he’s with?”</p><p>“Crowley.” Hastur snarls. “Anthony Crowley.”</p><p>Gabriel gestures to the back seat of the car. “If you’re willing, I need you to handle this Crowley.“ Gabriel sneers as he says the name. “While I make sure to rid you of Aziraphale.” He sees Hastur hesitate. “I assure you, no legal action will befall you. I’m connected in ways you wouldn’t believe.”</p><p>Hastur seems to relax, and opens the back door of the car. “What’s the plan?”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Crowley follows Aziraphale into the library. “What time is Anathema suppose to come in today?” He watches his Angel settle in at the desk.</p><p>“Noon” Aziraphale says, as he logs onto the computer.</p><p>Crowley seats himself on the desk, leaning back towards Aziraphale. “If it’s ok with you, I think I’ll hang out here until she comes in.” Andrew had told them Ligur hadn’t been granted bail, but Crowley didn’t want Aziraphale alone in case Hastur tried something.</p><p>Aziraphale’s posture relaxes just a little. “Thank you love.” He’s been less on edge since talking to Andrew, but the fear isn’t completely gone.</p><p>Crowley reaches across the desk to take Aziraphale’s hands. “I’m proud of you Angel.”</p><p>Blue eyes look up at him surprised. “For what?”</p><p>“For being so brave.” Crowley’s thumb caresses Aziraphale’s knuckles.</p><p>“I’m not brave, Anthony.” Aziraphale shakes his head. “I’m terrified.”</p><p>“That’s what bravery is, Angel. Being strong in the face of fear.” Crowley leans down to kiss soft, blond fluff. “And I’ve never known anyone as strong as you.”</p><p>Aziraphale blushes. “Thank you.” He clears his throat and stands. “I best get things ready. Patrons are sure to stop in soon.”</p><p>“Do what you need.” Crowley watches him move about the shelves. “I’ll be on the computer.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Anathema makes it in at five minutes before noon. Crowley greets her, then quickly gives Aziraphale a peck on the cheek. “I’ll run and get you lunch, Angel.”</p><p>Anathema notices Aziraphale’s bruises face. “What the hell happened to you?” She shoots Crowley a death glare.</p><p>Crowley realizes what she’s thinking and throws his hands up in front of himself. “I would never, Anathema.”</p><p>Aziraphale steps between them. “I was attacked over the weekend by Frank Ligur.”</p><p>“Ligur? The guy who works with Crowley?” Her features remain angry, but that rage is now redirected.</p><p>“One and the same.” Aziraphale says. “He jumped me in the restroom at <strong>Drinx</strong>.</p><p>“Oh you poor thing!” She speaks a little too loudly for her surroundings and looks about apologetically.</p><p>“The police have him in custody, but I’m worried about Hastur trying something.” Crowley lays his hands on Aziraphale’s shoulders. “Will you be here until closing?”</p><p>“I should be.” She stares at Aziraphale’s bruises.</p><p>“Good.” Crowley feels himself relax a little more. “Had to quit my job because of all of it, and I need to go hunting for another. I don’t want him alone, so I need you to call me immediately if anything goes wrong.”</p><p>She takes Aziraphale by the arm. “I’ll guard him with my life.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Crowley spends most of the day searching. The hardest obstacle is finding something that will allow him to continue driving Aziraphale to and from work. The library makes Aziraphale happy, and Crowley will be damned if his Angel has to give that up.</p><p>Crowley texts Aziraphale every two hours to make sure he is doing okay. The responses are all upbeat and happy. Crowley had meant it earlier, he really is so impressed with Aziraphale’s strength. The man is amazing.</p><p>At 5:30PM, Crowley arrives back at his house and sends Aziraphale one last message:</p><p><strong>Crowley:</strong> <em>Angel, I’m at the house. Gonna make our dinner. I’ll be to the library by 7. Let me know if you need me sooner. Love you. 😘</em></p><p>An immediate response follows.</p><p><strong>Aziraphale:</strong> <em> Love you too.❤️</em></p><p>Over the next hour, Crowley bakes chicken breasts, fries potatoes, makes candied carrots, and a pan of brownies. As he removes the chicken and shuts off the oven he hears a thump in the living room.</p><p><em>I didn’t lock the front door.</em> He realizes in a panic, peeking around the kitchen doorway, the door is open, but no one is in sight.</p><p>Crowley makes a beeline through the living room, past the archway, and into the bedroom. Running to the safe he turns the tumbler, 4-0-0-4 and pulls the heavy door open. As he reaches inside, he hears the floorboard behind him creak. Pain surges up the back of his head, and the world goes dark.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Aziraphale is looking forward to an evening alone with Crowley. He’s very tired, today has taken more out of him than he had expected. His body is still sore, and it’s embarrassing the looks he receives from people. In a small town the residents love to gossip and he hates to think of the rumors his bruises will fuel.</p><p>Anathema notices his discomfort and shoos him into the back office. “There’s too much paperwork and I don’t feel like doing all of it.”</p><p>Aziraphale is setting at the small desk filing out notices for overdue books when the library’s phone rings. He doesn’t pay much attention to Anathema answering it until she jumps up in a panic. Aziraphale walks out to see what’s happening.</p><p>Anathema puts the phone on the receiver and turns to him. “I’m sorry, I need to leave. Something is wrong with Newt.”</p><p>Newt is Anathema’s fiancé. A quiet young man, that Aziraphale has met on two occasions. “What’s happened?”</p><p>Anathema hurriedly grabs her things. “I’m not sure yet. The lady said she's a nurse at Holzer Hospital, and Newt is being taken in for emergency surgery.”</p><p>Aziraphale looks at the clock, 6:46PM, Crowley will be here soon. “Go, take care of Newt. Call me later to update me on his status.”</p><p>“Thank you, Aziraphale.” She hugs him and rushes out the door.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The clock reads 7:05PM and Crowley still hasn’t arrived. Aziraphale keeps the doors locked as he stares into the parking lot watching for the red pick-up. He’s tried calling Crowley’s cell twice but gets no answer.</p><p>His worry gets the best of him, as two figures walk towards him across the parking lot. Aziraphale backs away from the door and around a corner to hunker down in front of the restrooms. Cellphone in hand, he taps on Andrew’s contact.</p><p>“Hello?”</p><p>Aziraphale tries to breathe normally, he startles as one of the figures beats on the door. “Uh, hello. There are people outside the library, trying to get in and I can’t get in touch with Anthony.”</p><p>“Aziraphale!” Comes the angry voice from the other side of the glass doors.</p><p>“Oh God!” Aziraphale’s voice is suddenly high pitched and panicked. “It’s Gabriel, Andrew. Gabriel is outside!”</p><p>“Stay calm and stay inside, Aziraphale. I’ll be there soon.” The call ends.</p><p>“Aziraphale! Out here now!” Gabriel commands. Aziraphale stays silent and unmoving.</p><p>“Don’t piss me off sweetheart, I really don’t think you’ll like the outcome if you do.” His voice sounds angry, yet coldly in control. This usually means he has a special punishment planned. Something cruel he can’t wait to inflict.</p><p>
  <em>Please, God, please. Help me.</em>
</p><p>Aziraphale feels a brief surge of relief as his phone lights up, showing Crowley’s face and name.</p><p>“Anthony!” He answers breathlessly.</p><p>From the other end of the call Gabriel’s voice cuts him off. “Not, Anthony, Aziraphale. Now get your ass outside.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. In Case You Don't Live Forever</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Title is a title of a Ben Platt song.</p><p>This chapter involves a bad accident and death. Just want you prepared for triggers if this is an issue. But there will be a happy ending.</p><p>Hope you enjoy! ❤️💚</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aziraphale throws the phone. He wants to cry, to scream, to shut completely down, but he can’t. Crowley needs him.</p><p>Standing slowly he approaches the door. Gabriel watches from the other side of the glass. Beside him a slender, stern looking woman Aziraphale remembers seeing before, but can’t recall her name and Crowley, on his knees. Hastur is behind him, arm outstretched and Azirpahale stares in horror, realizing there is a gun held to the head of the man he loves.</p><p>“One last time, Aziraphale, get your fat ass out here.” Gabriel’s eyes glint, smug smile on his face. “I won’t ask again.”</p><p>Aziraphale nods, hand on the lock. He’d known this was coming, he'd just hoped he was wrong.</p><p>“Don’t Angel!” Crowley begs, beautiful honey eyes watching him.</p><p>“If I come out, will you let Anthony go?” Aziraphale never breaks eye contact with Crowley.</p><p>“I’ll have him killed if you don’t.” Aziraphale’s eyes flick to the gun, Hastur’s finger on the trigger, then to Gabriel. He nods that he understands and turns the lock, stepping into the warm night air.</p><p>“Angel.” Crowley’s voice is a whisper, a plea.</p><p>Aziraphale looks to the only true love he’s ever known.<em> I’ll never see him again.</em> “I’m so sorry Anthony. I love you.”</p><p>“Angel.” This time the word comes out in a sob, Aziraphale can see Crowley breaking. Golden eyes look up to Gabriel. “Please don’t do this. He deserves better.”</p><p>Gabriel’s face flushes a deep red. “I am better, you worthless hill jack.” He shoves Aziraphale, knocking him to the ground. Before Aziraphale can stand Gabriel storms to Crowley, backhanding him across the face. Grabbing a handful of red hair, Gabriel bends over lifting Crowley’s face inches from his own. “You are a pretty thing, aren’t you?” Gabriel says salaciously. “Be too bad if those lovely cheekbones were shattered, eh?”</p><p>“Get your hands off him!” Aziraphale is to his feet, and world be damned before he’ll let anyone treat Crowley that way.</p><p>Gabriel releases Crowley and snatches the gun from Hastur. “What was that sunshine?”</p><p>Blue and red lights catch everyone’s attention.</p><p>“Shit!” Gabriel curses, quickly bringing the pistol across Crowley’s face knocking him half conscious onto the pavement. Aziraphale surges forward to reach him.</p><p>Gabriel catches Aziraphale by the arm. “Time to say goodbye, Aziraphale.”</p><p>“No!” Aziraphale pulls against Gabriel’s grip.</p><p>“We need to go!” Michael yells from the drivers side of the Civic.</p><p>Gabriel pushes the barrel of the gun to the underside of Aziraphale’s chin.</p><p>“Move pet.” He snarls against Aziraphale’s ear.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Crowley regains his senses in time to see Aziraphale being shoved into the backseat of a blue sedan. Gabriel sliding in beside him holding a gun to his Angel’s face.</p><p>Crowley forces himself to stand, willing his legs to run towards Aziraphale. The car squeals past him out of the parking lot. Crowley catches Aziraphale’s frightened eyes as they speed away.</p><p>In a panic Crowley turns, trying to find anyway to follow. He notices Hastur is gone. Crowley assumes he has run south towards Jackson Lake, since two police cruisers are headed in that direction. A third cruiser pulls up beside Crowley, Andrew at the wheel. “Get in.”</p><p>Crowley wastes no time settling into the passenger seat, as Andrew peels off in the direction of the Civic.</p><p>“He has a gun to Aziraphale’s face.” Crowley doesn’t hide his panic.</p><p>“Then be prepared we might not get him back tonight.” Andrew tells him calmly. “Because if we get in a standoff, it’ll be safer for Aziraphale if we don’t engage.”</p><p>Crowley white knuckles the door. “I can’t lose him.”</p><p>Andrew shakes his head. “You won’t. Even if they get away tonight, we’ll get him back. I promise.”</p><p>Crowley’s eyes are trained straight ahead. “I hope you’re right.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Aziraphale watches Crowley pull himself off the asphalt, Michael throwing the car into gear. As they pull away, Aziraphale makes eye contact with Crowley one last time. Crowley’s face is desperate, as he runs towards the car.</p><p>Shoving him against the door, Gabriel presses his body firmly against Aziraphale’s, giving him no room to move away. Gabriel lowers the gun, keeping the barrel trained in his direction, and moves his face a breath from Aziraphale’s ear. “What am I going to do with you sweetheart?” Gabriel’s free hand takes a fistful of blond curls, forcing Aziraphale’s face towards his. “Never thought you’d be stupid enough to cheat on me, Aziraphale.” Gabriel’s eyes look him over, licking his lips. “Stupid fucking whore. Guess I’ll just need to remind you who you belong to, won’t I?” Gabriel forces his mouth against Aziraphale’s, holding his head in place. Aziraphale wretches, fighting to pull away, trying to escape. After what feels an eternity, Gabriel finally breaks the kiss, violet eyes excited and deadly. He holds Aziraphale’s hair so tightly it feels as though his scalp may bleed. “This is going to be so much fun.”</p><p>“Fuck you!” Aziraphale grimaces, teeth clenching in an attempt to hide his fear with anger.</p><p>Gabriel’s looks shocked for a moment before his eyes darken with rage. “What was that?”</p><p>Aziraphale is done. He’d rather die tonight than go back to this. “I said, fuck you.” He drags the last two words out slowly, then in a last minute move of defiance, spits in Gabriel’s face.</p><p>Gabriel raises the gun to Aziraphale’s temple, shoving his head against the window. “No, fuck you.”</p><p>“Cops are gaining on us!” Michael’s panicked voice causes Gabriel to lower the gun and turn in his seat. Aziraphale uses this distraction to reach for the weapon. Grabbing it with both hands, he isn’t strong enough to pull it from Gabriel’s grasp, but he is able to get it pointed away from himself.</p><p>“Let go!” Gabriel bellows, elbowing Aziraphale in the face, causing him to see stars.</p><p>Through sheer power of will Aziraphale keeps his wits, running on pure adrenaline and pent up wrath. Crowley loves him. He knows he’s worth the world to someone who means the world to him. Aziraphale isn’t going back to Gabriel, not without a fight. "No, I'm done with this and I'm done with you!"</p><p>Gabriel tries to pull the gun away again, causing Aziraphale’s hand to slide down the barrel. His middle finger catches on the trigger, and the gun goes off. The bullet hits Michael in the back, causing her to reflexively pull the steering wheel to the left.</p><p>The last thing Aziraphale remembers is the car hitting the ditch before the world goes black.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>It doesn’t take Andrew’s Challenger long to catch up with the small sedan. Crowley sets rigid in his seat ready for a fight. Thanks to the headlights, they are able to see everything through the back window of the Civic.</p><p>Gabriel shoving Aziraphale against the door, grabbing his Angel’s hair, then Crowley feels his blood boil. <em>Son of a bitch is kissing him!</em> He can see Aziraphale’s hands moving frantically, trying to shove Gabriel away. <em>Assholes dead, he’s fucking dead!</em></p><p>Then Crowley’s heart stops as Gabriel presses the gun to Aziraphale’s head. Crowley leans forward, gripping the dash. “No, no, no!”</p><p>Andrew quickly flips on the emergency lights. The distraction works, causing Gabriel to lower the gun and look behind him.</p><p>The relief Crowley feels doesn’t last long, as the next 60 seconds seem to move in slow motion. His Angel reaching over, a scuffle, the flash of a weapon discharge, and the car turning violently left of center. The impact causes the car to flip twice before coming to a rest topside down in a ditch.</p><p>Crowley’s vision narrows, the world around him becomes a roar. He vaguely hears Andrew calling for medical assistance as Crowley exits the vehicle. He ignores his cousin, as he calls for him to stay back. Crowley screams Aziraphale’s name running towards the wreckage.</p><p>The front seat of the car is caved in completely, the driver can’t possible have survived. The backseat came to rest in the ditch, Crowley drops to his knees, looking through the shattered back window. He can see Gabriel, bloody and unconscious, laying against the opposite door. Aziraphale is nearer to Crowley, eyes closed, blood in his snow white curls.</p><p>“Angel?” Crowley sobs, reaching towards him. The car is caved in around Aziraphale, not enough to crush him, but enough that Crowley can’t get to him. “Aziraphale wake up.” Crowley’s voice is raspy, his face wet with tears. “Please, sweetheart talk to me.”</p><p>He can see Aziraphale breathing, but it’s shallow and labored.</p><p><em>Please don’t take him from me. </em>Crowley prays. He’s never been religious, never liked the fanaticism of the church. But he’d sell his soul right now to whichever power would let him see those clear blue eyes and brilliant smile one more time.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <strong>6 days later</strong>
</p><p>Crowley sets in the waiting room of Holzer Hospital. He hasn’t been home since that awful night. Every moment has been spent at Aziraphale’s bedside waiting for his Angel to wake up.</p><p>He is currently being forced to set in the waiting room, because Aziraphale is in surgery. It is his second to relieve the swelling on his brain. The doctor promised to update Crowley as soon as Aziraphale is out of the OR</p><p>Hastur had been arrested the night of the accident, he is currently awaiting trial with no bail. Michael had been pronounced dead at the scene. Gabriel is in stable condition, a few cracked ribs and bruises, which pisses Crowley off to no end. Aziraphale is in a coma, could possible never wake up again, and the worst Gabriel is going to get is a prison stint. Not even a long one, 5 years.</p><p>Anathema has been by twice. Crowley was cross with her the first time she came. She had promised to stay with Aziraphale that night and had left. But after explaining the phone call she had received he understood. She continued to tell him that Newt was fine, when she had arrived at the hospital he wasn’t even there. The whole ploy had been a ruse to get Aziraphale alone.</p><p>Crowley’s cousins have been in and out multiple times over the past days. Offering him food, encouraging him to go home to shower and sleep. Each promising they would stay until he returned. He can’t leave, he needs to be here when Aziraphale wakes.</p><p>As angry as Crowley is, he still prays. Prays that Aziraphale and Gabriel’s places will switch. He knows it’s wrong to wish death on anyone, but Gabriel deserves it so much more than his Angel.</p><p>Crowley is silently praying as Aziraphale’s surgeon, Dr. Lawrence steps out of the swinging doors and approaches him. “He seems to be stable, we were able to successfully alleviate the pressure on his brain.” She pauses. “However, the situation is delicate, and could change at anytime.” She places a hand on Crowley’s shoulder. “I don’t want to scare you, but I want you to be prepared for any and all possibilities.”</p><p>Crowley nods. It’s been the same thing for the past 6 days. His whole fucking world is falling apart and there is nothing he can do about it.</p><p>He is pulled from his thoughts by a nurse bursting through the doors motioning for the doctor to follow. “Your car accident patient is coding! Cardiac arrest! We need you now!"</p><p>“I’m sorry, Mr. Crowley.” She turns to leave.</p><p>Crowley jumps to his feet, heart in his throat. <em>This can’t be it.</em></p><p>She turns back to him, motioning him to stop. “I’ll let you know something as soon as I can, but right now I have to go.” She turns and quickly jogs through the double doors.</p><p>Defeated Crowley falls back into his seat, his world ending. Putting his head in his hands, alone and afraid, he once again begins to cry.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Bless the Broken Road</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Title of this chapter is a Rascal Flatts song.</p><p>Lot of time jumping in this one, sorry. But it’s for the story.</p><p> ❤️💚</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>3 Weeks Later</strong>
</p><p>Crowley sits beside Aziraphale’s bed. His Angel has been stable for two weeks now, but has yet to wake up. Crowley believes without a doubt it will happen soon, after that night three weeks ago when his first prayer was answered.</p><p>The code the doctor responded to that night wasn’t Aziraphale, but Gabriel, who’d developed a blood clot due to a deep bruise on his leg. It had gone unnoticed, allowing it time to reach his brain. Gabriel had been pronounced dead fifteen minutes after the code was called, and Aziraphale is progressively improving. Crowley was so relieved, that when Sal had stopped by later that day, he agreed to go home and shower.</p><p>So now he sets holding Aziraphale’s soft, warm hand and waits. The bruises on his face have healed, and his hair is growing back from where they’d had to shave it for surgery.</p><p>Crowley stands to gently kiss Aziraphale’s lips. “I love you, Angel. Come back soon, I miss you.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <strong>2 Weeks Later</strong>
</p><p>Crowley waits in line at the hospital cafeteria. Bri had stopped by a half hour earlier, and said she would sit with Aziraphale.</p><p>Crowley is getting frustrated. Even now that he allows himself time for food and hygiene, he still doesn’t like being away from Aziraphale any longer than he needs. Which is why he feels on the verge of strangling the woman in front of him. She has stood for what feels like an eternity, chatting with some man behind the counter and holding up the damn line. Crowley is on the verge of telling her to move her ass, when the text comes in.</p><p><strong>Bri:</strong> <em>Get lunch later. I really think you want to be up here.</em></p><p><em>Thank you! </em>He turns and bolts as fast as he can to the stairwell. The elevator takes too long, and he needs to be on the third floor ASAP. Several hospital staff call out to him to stop running and Crowley completely ignores all of them. The rest of the world is drowned out by his joy.<em> My Angel is awake!</em></p><p>After what feels like forever, but was most likely record time, Crowley bursts through the door of Aziraphale’s room. There lays his Angel, awake and startled by the madman in the doorway.</p><p>“Aziraphale.” Crowley is wide eyed and out of breath as he crosses the room. He kneels by the bed taking Aziraphale’s hand. His Angel is awake, alive and staring at him. “How do you feel, dove?”</p><p>“A bit groggy and very hungry.” Aziraphale giggles, his blue eyes sparkling.</p><p>
  <em>God I’ve missed those eyes.</em>
</p><p>“Let me find someone to get you something to eat.” Crowley heads to the door to flag down a nurse. Aziraphale has been unconscious for over a month. Of course he’s starving, having been fed nutrients via an IV this whole time. His Angel has lost weight because of it, and Crowley is going to remedy this problem.</p><p>The nurse contacts Dr. Lawrence, who asks to speak with Aziraphale first. After checking him over, she has the nursing staff deliver Aziraphale’s lunch.</p><p>Crowley can’t stop touching and kissing him. It’s like the weight of the world has been lifted off his shoulders and this is the best way he knows to celebrate.</p><p>“I can leave if you want me to.” Bri says sarcastically, after enduring them for a quarter of an hour.</p><p>Aziraphale laughs looking to Bri. “I do believe he’s rather excited.” Turning his attention to Crowley. “You are making it very difficult to eat dear.”</p><p>"Sorry." Crowley gives them both a sheepish look and pulls a chair beside Aziraphale’s bed and settles for running his fingers along his Angel’s free hand and arm.</p><p>“How long was I out?” Aziraphale asks as he takes a bite of hospital potatoes, grimacing at the taste.</p><p>“Six weeks. It’s November 13.” Crowley says softly. He looks up at Aziraphale whose eyes widen in shock.</p><p>“Oh dear! I’m so sorry.” Aziraphale looks between Crowley and Bri. “I’ve ruined our trip to King’s Island.”</p><p>Crowley can’t help but burst out laughing. The absurdity that after everything, Aziraphale is most upset that he’s ruined plans.</p><p>“It’s okay, Angel.” Crowley kisses his fretting love on the forehead. “There’s always next year.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <strong>11 Months Later</strong>
</p><p>Aziraphale had made it home in time for the holidays and the 11 months to follow definitely had their ups and downs. Recovery was hard, but they made it through together. Crowley is wonderful, Aziraphale couldn’t have asked for a more loving and dedicated nurse.</p><p>The downside is Aziraphale’s money. The fortune his father had left him, seems to have been lost forever. Gabriel had moved every remaining penny into an account without Aziraphale’s name on it. Andrew said, that most likely it was all now in the possession of one Gabriel’s associates and others involved in his criminal business or a former lover. He is not about to risk his life to fight a drug cartel or Gabriel’s underworld connections for it. Aziraphale is only mildly upset. He much prefers the life he has now to the life he had with that money.</p><p>Crowley returned to working for Beez, and was even able to get Newt on as help. Aziraphale stayed on at the library. What they had wasn’t a lot, but it was more than enough.</p><p>Now, nearly a year later, he, Crowley, Bri, Alexis, Andrew, and their spouses, enter the gates of King’s Island Amusement Park. A large fountain stretches nearly two acres before them. Small eateries and stores line the sides of the fountain, with walk-ways branching in four directions towards the different rides. At the end of the fountain is a large, but scaled down replica of the Eiffel Tower.</p><p>Aziraphale squeals delightedly as actors in costumes jump out to scare him. He clings to Crowley, who holds him close as they walk. The rides are exciting, and the day is one of laughter and contentment.</p><p>Once evening falls on this crisp October night, Crowley takes Aziraphale's hand. The park is scheduled to close soon, and they await the nightly fireworks display that proceeds every closing.</p><p>“Care to watch the fireworks from the Eiffel Tower, Angel?”</p><p>Aziraphale can think of no better end to the day. “I’d love to.”</p><p>Crowley leads him into the elevator that will take them to the top of the large metal structure. Once on the platform Aziraphale can see the expanse of the park. It covers 364 acres, at the end of which is forest. Aziraphale looks down to see the rest of their group waiting below. “Did they not want to come up with us?”</p><p>Crowley shakes his head, he seems nervous. “Nah, said they wanted to stay down there.”</p><p>Azriaphale realizes he and Crowley are the only two people on the platform. <em>How odd.</em></p><p>Aziraphale looks at Crowley, his honey eyes are bright and big, his face is pale and he’s shaking. “Are you cold, Anthony?”</p><p>Crowley turns his head quickly. His face breaks into a nervous smile. “No, I’m fine, Angel.”</p><p>Aziraphale opens his mouth to speak, but is interrupted by the first splashes of color across the sky. “Oh, Anthony,” he gushes, “isn’t it beautiful!”</p><p>He feels Crowley release his hand. “Sure is, Angel.”</p><p>Aziraphale turns to look at him and realizes two things consecutively. One, there is a better way to end the evening, and it’s happening right now. Two, Crowley is no longer standing, but is kneeling. In his upturned hand is a small white box, opened to reveal a gold band adorned with two angel wings.</p><p>Crowley stares up at him, eyes full of love and fear. “Aziraphale.” He begins. “I know I’m not much, and I know I don’t have a lot to offer you financially. You’re brilliantly smart, stunningly beautiful and amazingly kind. You’re the reason I want to wake up every morning and the reason I can’t wait to get into bed every night.” He gives a nervous laugh, then catching his breath. “I love you, and I’ll love you always, everyday, the very best I can. I’ll give you everything within my power, because you deserve the world, Aziraphale. And I swear to spend the rest of my life trying to give it to you.” Crowley looks terrified and Aziraphale can feel the tears forming in his own eyes.</p><p>“So what I’m Trying to get out is,” Crowley clears his throat, “Aziraphale Zachariah Fell, would you do me the honor of becoming my husband?”</p><p>Poor dear looks like he’s going to faint.</p><p>“Yes!” Aziraphale smiles through his tears. “Oh, darling, yes!” He pulls Crowley to his feet and kisses him, circling his fingers in gossamer hair and never, ever wanting to let go. “I love you, Anthony.” Aziraphale gasps against his fiancé’s lips. He pushes Crowley against the wall by the elevator, pressing their bodies together.</p><p>“I love you too, Angel. Thank you, oh God thank you.” Crowley breathes the words into Aziraphale’s mouth.</p><p>They remain entwined until the lights in the sky ceases. Crowley is the first to pull away, breathlessly. “I think it’s time to head to the hotel, Angel.”</p><p>“I think you’re right love.” Aziraphale looks into Crowley’s lust and love filled eyes, and knows his own must look the same.</p><p>On the elevator ride down, Aziraphale admires the ring on his finger. “It’s beautiful, Anthony.”</p><p>“Can’t compete with you.” Crowley kisses the soft blond curls which have grown back to their previous glory.</p><p>As the elevator door opens and they step out, Crowley announces loudly “He said yes!” And fist pumps the air. This leads to cheers, clapping and hugs from Crowley’s family.</p><p>Aziraphale realizes. <em>Our family.</em></p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>